Tag Archives: The Hateful Eight

Witness Protection

Witness Protection

When you do something scary or stressful — bungee jumping, public speaking, etc. — do you prefer to be surrounded by friends or by strangers? Why?

This is yesterday’s prompt but I didn’t have any thoughts on the matter then. Also I didn’t find today’s prompt particularly interesting which is ironic given the prompt in question asks what bores you. Logically it would be better to be surrounded by strangers, after all if you do something stupid or make a mistake then you’ll never have to face them again. But on days like today being surrounded by friends is a better idea. Well not surrounded, I don’t want to be surrounded by anyone. I don’t like groups of people, no matter how many people.

Today I went to an unfamiliar place, a cinema I’d never been to before and one I never plan to visit again. All of this was in aid of seeing The Hateful Eight, and it pains me to say it but it wasn’t worth it. I never thought I’d see the day when Quentin Tarantino disappointed me. I missed Freiburg’s friendly against FC Basel for this. For three mind numbing hours I had to be subjected to scenes which from a visual perspective felt very familiar, plenty of long and over indulgent scenes and substandard dialogue. The former I can live with, I actually quite enjoyed picking out the similarity of certain shots to scenes from Inglourious Basterds and Django Unchained. But the latter is not acceptable at all. It’s not the violence I have a problem with or the racist language used. Django features a lot of both those things, difference is in Django it had a purpose and was in context. Here it was just a gore-fest. And Tim Roth was doing a bad impression of Christoph Waltz, he was veering between Hans Landa and King Schultz.

But none of that is my point. My point is today wasn’t easy to deal with, having to deal with change or an unfamiliar situation of some kind never is. One thing which made it slightly easier is the thought that I was doing it for a good reason. That I would be rewarded for my suffering. Whilst that wasn’t true today wasn’t a lost cause. Today did prove to me that sometimes it’s good to have other people around, not only that but it’s ok to let them help you. It was just a small thing they did to help me out. It’s not what they did that’s so important to me, it’s how they did it. I’ve been on edge the past few days, mostly because of today and partly because of Friday. I’m both excited and yet apprehensive. More than anything I just don’t want something to go wrong. But getting back to today, being on edge and not having gotten much sleep meant I’ve been a little bit more twitchy and uncoordinated than usual. My friend was worried I would drop my popcorn and drink, as they put it “it was an accident waiting to happen.” Like I said it’s not only what they did but how. They didn’t make a big deal of it, they didn’t fuss over me or anything like that. They just took it from my hands and gave it back to me when I could take hold of it properly. I’m not good at letting people help me but I didn’t really have a choice. It was either let them take it or risk having no popcorn to eat. Sometimes practicality has to trump my own stubbornness and need to do everything myself. Even better is the fact I’m not beating myself up about it which is what usually happens. It’s odd that way, whenever I need someone to speak for me or help someone else understand what I’m saying I feel stupid about it and obsess endlessly over it. But when it’s something that requires physical help I’m less obsessive about it. I wonder why one is easier to accept than the other.

There’s also two other good things about today, one of which might not have happened if I’d stayed at home. Talking about how unsatisfying the new Millennium book is we naturally got to talking about August. It’s my view that August would be better off far away from his mother and that she doesn’t deserve a second chance at taking care of him. In discussing how lackluster the ending is I got the idea of writing my own version. Not only that but writing a back story of sorts for August. I came up with the idea partly because of a comment made by someone else about one of my stories. They want to know more of what the autistic character is thinking. I told them I’m not doing that, not yet anyway. Because the reader not knowing what he’s thinking gives some idea of how his parents feel. Why should the reader get to know things they don’t? Not knowing what he thinks gives the reader a better understanding of how frustrating such a situation can be for all parties. Despite my position on that story I do like the idea of doing such a thing for August. The second good thing was getting someone else’s opinion on the first Matze chapter. Not only am I happy they liked it but their comments really mean a lot to me.

Dealing with Change: The Hateful Eight Disappointment

Today was my first football free Friday, well sort of. There was football on, just not the Bundesliga. First a friendly, Nils Petersen’s old team Energie Cottbus played Wolfsburg. And there’s FA Cup action with Liverpool visiting Exeter City. It’s not a day which has gone particularly well, I had it all worked out in my head. Seeing an early showing of The Hateful Eight so I could be back for the friendly. But the universe had other ideas. Distribution problems mean that the film is not showing at my regular cinema, the one I have a loyalty card for. In order to see it today not only would I have needed to fork out extra cash for a ticket but would have gone to a cinema I’ve never been to before. Not only that but by myself since there was no-one available to take me.

I’ve spent the better part of the past two days trying to be ok with the situation. Either trying to convince myself into going to the new place or to make my peace with not seeing it just yet. I thought I was close to making some kind of peace with it. This morning’s events proved otherwise, I got up to set up a recording of a game to watch later and then went back to bed. I guess it was easier to deal with if I didn’t have to fill the time, if I just avoided it all together.

I’ve been trying for a while to get used to unexpected changes, working on accepting that things don’t always go as you want them to. In all honesty it’s not going particularly well. Other people try to help and they mean well, they really do. Like the person who tried to explain the layout of the new cinema to me. But I had to make them stop, it was just too much information and didn’t prove to be particularly helpful. At least I asked them to stop without snapping at them. I’m bothered by the whole thing but I’ve not taken it out on anyone else or taking it out on the people who weren’t available for today. That’s a good thing. Though I suppose it helps that I’m trying wherever possible to avoid other people completely. I just don’t think I can handle any conversation that’s not absolutely necessary. It’s really thrown me into a tailspin. I know things can and do change without warning, I remind myself of this fact a lot. I just never thought a Tarantino film would be the source of the problem.

I just have to keep reminding myself that I will get to see it at least. Just not on the day I had planned. In doing this I’m borrowing something Hansi said, he was talking about tactics but the principle is the same. His point essentially was the that the system, the approach to the game does not change, the principles which the system is founded upon are unalterable. What can, does and should change is what he calls the playing concept. That’s what changes from match to match, specific plans which are drawn up for each opponents. You don’t approach each opponent in the same way because they don’t play the same way, it won’t work. Point is the system does not change, I will get to see the film. I just have to accept the tactical alteration, the day and the time changing and who I see it with is what I need to accept. If you want to win you have to adapt to the situation at hand. Which is of course easier said than done. I know I get fixed on things happening a certain way, I know it’s a problem. I just never thought it would need to be solved in this context. There are things you think you can count on. Just goes to show you should always be prepared for the possibility of things not going your way, you should always have a back-up plan.

I like the idea of using what Hansi was talking about in dealing with things like this, and not just because it’s Hansi related, I really think it could be helpful. It hasn’t changed how I feel about it today, I’m not that far off the nervous flapping wreck I was yesterday. But at least I’m not obsessing over it so much. I still feel unsettled but there’s room in my mind for other thoughts, it’s a start. I talked a lot about this kind of thing with the psychologist I talked to a while back, we talked about lots of different ideas to help with situations which make me anxious and about dealing with change. But none of them ever stuck. They all sounded like good ideas when we came up with them but they didn’t stick. I think for that to happen they have to be connected with a special interest in some way. That’s the case here so maybe this one will stick, it’s worth a shot at least.

There is however a silver lining to today, because whilst I may not have gotten much sleep last night I did have a Jogi related dream. I have little clue of what it was about, something to do with a match which he was unhappy about, but I’ll take it. Especially seeing as how it was on the seventh as well.

Advent Calendar Day 22: Weihnachtsgruß von Joachim Löw/King Neuer

Behind door number 22 in the Freiburg advent calendar was Spanish defender Marc Torejon. As the title suggests I finally have Manuel Neuer’s DFB card and he was well worth the wait. And joining them from the Dortmund calendar is Henrikh Mhkitaryan:

Manuel Neuer - DFB 2015-16 card 1 Manuel Neuer - DFB 2015-16 card 2 Henrikh Mhkitaryan - Dortmund advent calendarAs well as these I also have Christmas greetings from Jogi Löw, from a short but sweet little video from the DFB site:

Weihnachtsgruß von Joachim Löw 1 Weihnachtsgruß von Joachim Löw 2Yesterday I was angry, today I’m just confused. I can make no more sense of why I was angry today than I could yesterday. At least I’m in a slightly better mood, the weather has something to do with that. It’s been raining all day long. I didn’t wake up angry at least which is a good thing. Though I didn’t manage to get to sleep by a decent hour, in bed but not asleep. That’s not so good but I don’t have any real complaints about that because of how the time was spent. I couldn’t get to sleep so easily so I turned to a tried and trusted method. I wrote a Matze adventure, at best it would help me to figure out why I was angry, at worst it would at least give me something to do with said anger. It didn’t help me work out why but it must have helped on some level because I did fall asleep eventually. It is a shame however that I spent the whole day asleep, had I not done do I would have had the place to myself all day.

Last week I was confused as to what day it was because of my odd sleeping patterns and because of the DFB Pokal. Now I’m equally confused though I don’t have football to blame, at least not in quite the same way. One way it is to blame is that there’s no countdown to match-day, because there isn’t one. Not yet anyway, for the Bundesliga it’s at the end of January and the 2.B the beginning of February. Last night after I’d finished writing the post I was working on and decided that an early night was best all of a sudden I wanted to stay up all night and I had plenty of ideas I could have started working on. But I didn’t and I can’t help but wonder if staying up would have been a better option. Truth is it probably wouldn’t, it doesn’t really matter. Stay up and it would have felt wrong and I would have been annoyed with myself, spend the day in bed as I did and the same would still be true. Whatever I do these days it feels wrong.

In fact I’m not sure what I’m doing right now is right. Today or tomorrow depending on your perspective, to me it feels very much like tomorrow because of how late I got up, I’m going to see Star Wars and to finish off the last of my Christmas shopping. I have no idea where sleep fits into the equation, if at all. I don’t even know if I’m tired or not. I’m not really sure how I feel or what it means. My head feels strange but then it has done these past few weeks. All I can think is that I wish I could cancel, maybe still do the shopping part but not the cinema part. I’m not particularly enthused about being in the presence of another person nor having to focus on a film for 135mins. I wish I could stay at home and half watch several films whilst typing up more story notes. That’s what I plan to do when I finish this post. I have Big Hero 6 on right now, I still don’t like the film that much but Baymax is still awesome. The scene at the police station is comedic genius, the tape and then Baymax acting like he’s drunk because he needs charging, funny beyond words. And him sitting there holding the cat, “hairy baby.”Like I said too funny for words.

I may not know how I feel or if I’m doing the right thing right now, or what to do about the final sticker for my Road to Euro 2016 album but I do know one thing for sure. The Book Thief is definitely the book I’m going to read next. I can test my theory as to whether or not the plot point which bugs me does so enough to compromise my enjoyment of it. After how trying The Man from Berlin has been it’ll be a nice change of pace, reading something which is very familiar. Plus it has a very pleasing easily readable feel to it anyway which will help. I’m down to the last eighty pages of The Man from Berlin now, all the pieces are starting to come together. I know who the killers are and for one of them I know the reason why. But I still don’t feel like I know the main character any better or understand his motivations. It just all feels very generic and it doesn’t do it’s setting any justice. The Kite Runner for example got me interested in Afghanistan and created a genuine enthusiasm for the country and it’s history.  And whilst I didn’t like the main character at all I was at least invested in finding out what happened to him. Not so with Gregor Reinhardt, I really don’t care. The only thing driving me to finish the book is my need to complete everything. Maybe The Kite Runner should be next on my list after The Book Thief, I haven’t read it in a while. Over Christmas I usually have a video game marathon but I’m not very interested in gaming right now. I think a stack of books is the way to go. It’ll be the better option I think, reading doesn’t give my mind the opportunity to wander like gaming does. Plus it’ll be good to have some screen free time and to make some headway on my ever growing to read pile. I got an unexpected gift today in the form of some extra Christmas money. I could be responsible and put it in the bank or I could visit the second hand book-store and pick up a few random and interesting titles. Obviously it’s the latter I’ve decided upon, I can be responsible in January. Right now I want to buy some more books.