Posted in Autism, Die Mannschaft, Fußball, Germany, Jogi Löw, World Cup 2018
Tagged Andre Schürrle, Ilkay Gündogan, Julian Draxler, Marc-Andre Ter Stegen, Mats Hummels, Sebastian Rudy, Shkodran Mustafi, Toni Kroos
I should be relieved that the worst didn’t happen, yet I’m only partly relieved. Mostly I’m still angry, angry that some people seem to continually get away with not taking responsibility for themselves and their actions. They think it’s fine just because the worst didn’t happen, that because it turned out to be something of a misunderstanding and disaster was averted it means they don’t need to take responsibility for their mistakes. The fact the more serious consequences of their careless mistake was avoided doesn’t make it ok, not by a long shot. But it’s impossible to make them see that. I guess on this one I’ll just have to take the advice I got, time and time again I’ve been told “you can’t always change what other people do or think, all you can do is decide how you’re going to react to it.”
Actually in a way it’s worse that what I was worried about didn’t actually happen. Because they screwed up and put me through all this for nothing, and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it. I know I need to let go of this but it’s not easy. I’ve got plenty of my own stuff to stress out about, I don’t need idiots like that adding to the list. It’s ironic that’s for sure, today was destined to be the worst day of the week yet it’s actually the day in which I’ve gotten the most done. Not only that but I somehow managed to be up, showered, dressed and to have eaten breakfast all before lunchtime. And right now I’m writing something which isn’t depressing. Even so it’s not an all’s well that ends well sort of thing. It’s yet another reminder that you can’t trust anyone but yourself, and sometimes I don’t even feel like I can do that. I’m supposed to be thinking of a few things that I can work on to make my life better, they don’t have to be big things, just something that could potentially make my life more bearable. I still don’t have anything for my list, nothing that’s realistic anyway. There are no big strong centre backs like Antonio Rüdiger to protect you, no Hansi either to help keep you out of trouble. I have something for my list but it’s not realistic, at least I don’t see a way it can be achieved. I’d like for life to not lurch from one crisis to the next, for things to just be settled and quiet but that never seems to happen, something always has to go wrong. I don’t have any solutions except to run away and hide, whether that be in a story of my own creation, books or yet another TV show, in this case Grimm on Netflix seeing as how I’ve watched almost everything else in my own collection. In the show the main character Nick can see monsters whereas other people just see regular human beings, that would be great, if you could really see people for who they are. That way you’d never get taken in, lied to or taken advantage of ever again.
Today is the final Saturday of the first half of the season, day 19 of the advent calendar. In the Freiburg calendar behind door number 19 was Georgian-German midfielder Lucas Hufnagel. Quite fitting to get him this week considering that earlier in the week his former team Unterhaching played in the last 16 round of the DFB Pokal and put in a very impressive performance against Bundesliga side Leverkusen.
It’s the final Saturday in another way too, tonight is the last two episodes of The Bridge. I’ll either finally get some answers or be very disappointed. Or most likely a combination of both.
It’s also fitting that today’s DFB card was of a Dortmund player too, though unfortunately it didn’t bring them any luck. For the third year in a row they lost their last game before Christmas losing 2-1 to Köln. Though obviously they are in a lot better shape than they were at this point last year. True they are unlikely to catch Bayern at the top but it’s still a remarkable turnaround. They’ve played 17, won 12, drawn 2 and lost 3. They have 38 points and a goal difference of plus 24 having scored 47 and conceded 23.
Compare that to last season in which they’d won just four games, drawn three and lost a staggering ten games. Even Freiburg who were bottom of the table at Christmas had only lost six. At that point Dortmund had just fifteen points with a goal difference of minus eight, having scored 18 and conceded 26. To put it another way this season it took them only until MD5 to score as many goals as it took them 17 games to do last season. And in that time they only conceded three. So like I said a huge improvement. Anyhow Ilkay Gundögan’s card and then Neven Subotic from the Dortmund calendar:
Behind door number four in the Freiburg calendar was back-up goalkeeper Patric Klandt. In the DFB one was the card of defender Jerome Boateng. And last but not least in the Dortmund one midfielder Ilkay Gündogan:
Today has been a somewhat frustrating day. It would have been fine had it not been for the courier who’s taken it upon themselves to lie about the location of my packages. The day was going fine until that happened. At least everything else is so far going to plan. I have all but one of the Christmas presents I’ve bought. I’m almost done now, just the wrapping to take care of. Plus the cards I have to make and the special bookmarks. I’m making three of them this year, one of which I’ve already gotten done. The other two I haven’t even started yet but I don’t think it’ll take long. One is a Philipp Lahm one and the other a Michael Shannon one, I don’t think you get two requests that are more diametrically opposite to one another if you tried. Well the Lahm one is not a request exactly. The person in question asked a while ago for some copies for a certain photo of him and I couldn’t give them the photos then. But I can make them a bookmark now. It’ll be a nice surprise and I’ll get to show that I do listen and can show an interest in other people.
I myself got a nice present too, the new Champions League album, though unfortunately there are no Germans in the four packets that came with it, nor in the first five packets I opened from my box. I did however get one Bayern player, a Gladbach one and Wolfsburg one. And amusingly enough the badge for Malmo, amusing because of course that’s where part of The Bridge is set and Saga lives.
I’m happy I’ve got the album but not with the album itself, nor the stickers. It’s Topps rather than Panini and I’m not happy about that at all. But it did give me a new idea for a Jogi adventure so it’s not all bad:
With the parcel situation it’s very strange indeed, normally I’m going out of my way to avoid other people at all costs and here I am frustrated because there’s not a human in sight. I can’t believe I’m sitting here complaining about not being able to speak to someone, what a strange situation this really is.
At least it’s been productive on a writing front, I haven’t put pen to paper yet but I at least have an idea as to how to proceed with my Jogi Christmas chapter. I’ve worked out how to connect the beginning with the excellent idea that fits in the middle. I’ve also gotten several ideas for other adventures, including one for Matze’s Christmas chapter and a completely new sticker story for Jogi.
I’m trying to keep my mind on this and not on stressing out about next week. I’m trying to keep in mind that the day might not go exactly as I want or expect it to. With that in mind I’m writing two schedules for the day, one for by myself and one with the other person being there. It’s not helping any, I can’t stop obsessing over the day and the fact that I may not get to give them their gifts before Christmas. I’m trying at least anyway.
One final and very good thing, new pictures of Hansi:
Posted in Autism, Die Mannschaft, Germany, Hansi Flick, Stickers, Writing
Tagged Anxiety, Bas Dost, Borussia Mönchengladbach, Champions League 2015/16 album, Hans-Dieter Flick, Ilkay Gündogan, Jerome Boateng, Rafael, VfL Wolfsburg