Most things in life are fleeting, feelings good and bad. Indeed life itself is fleeting. This weekend served up two reminders of this fact. The first was the death of a Darmstadt fan, a boy named Johnny who had cancer. He lived long enough to see them get promoted to the Bundesliga and to celebrate with the team. Sadly he didn’t live long enough to see them stay there, there’s still eight match-days to go. But he continues to be a source of inspiration for the team and their fans in the fight to stay in the top flight. They marked his passing with a minute of silence and banners with his picture on. His motto was “You must fight.” Words which Darmstadt will need to remember in their bid to remain in the Bundesliga.
Sunday unfortunately also served up a similar event. Dortmund’s yellow wall found themselves silenced during their game against Mainz. Not because their team was losing, that won’t stop them singing. Their silence was a mark of respect for a fan who died during the game. At the end they sung “You’ll Never Walk Along” in his honour and instead of their usual lap of honour the players stood in a respectful silence. Understandably at the end of the game neither Marco Reus nor Thomas Tuchel wanted to talk much about football. Thomas Tuchel saying that there are some things more important in life than football. I actually disagree with him there, I know what he’s saying but I can’t agree. Partly because of the story mentioned above. That boy Johnny lived and breathed for Darmstadt and they meant everything to him. Freiburg mean everything to me, sometimes they’re the reason I get out of bed. Maybe to some people that’s sad or whatever but I don’t care. Life’s too short to worry about what other people think of you. They provide a center, something to build everything else around that I really need right now. They are a point of consistency, no matter how bad everything else is going I know I get to see them play at the weekend. Win, lose or draw they’ll always be there. Some things are fleeting but others like loyalty and love aren’t.
This weekend’s game was a little bit of comedown after the excitement against Leipzig. They beat Frankfurt 3-1 but that scoreline is a little misleading. On the matter of things being fleeting my excitement on Sunday certainly was. The reason being for a few short minutes I got to enjoy the excitement of Freiburg being league leaders again. And then the inevitable happened, Leipzig equalised against 1860 and then went on to score the winner. Business as usual and Freiburg go back to second place. I was a little unhappy about that, until I saw Dortmund’s game and then today saw this prompt. The combination of the two set me straight. Freiburg are still in second place, that’s still an automatic promotion spot. Besides I have nothing to complain about, I got to see the game, including the pre and post-match shows. I got a new interview with Nils Petersen and he got to score two very important goals. I shouldn’t take that for granted, just getting to see the game is something I should appreciate. Thinking about Johnny and Darmstadt certainly puts into perspective. Whatever happens at the end of this season at least I’ll get to see it. I know I complain sometimes about having to get up early on the weekend because the 2.Bundesliga kicks off earlier, but I really shouldn’t. It could be so much worse. Look at Paderborn, relegated from the top flight, their coach and most of their best players gone. On their I think third coach of the season and struggling just to stay in the league. They face the possibility of being relegated twice in a row. It’s in stark opposition to Darmstadt who in the past two years did the opposite, getting promoted twice in a row, first from the 3.Liga and then the 2.Bundesliga. Impressive stuff, even more so when you consider it’s their first season in the top flight in about 30 years.
Monday’s are always a slow day, writing this post will most likely be my only achievement of the day. But I’m still in my anything goes kind of mood from last week so I’m not being too hard on myself about it. Instead I’m focusing on how happy I am at the latest additions to my collection:
There is one other thing I have to mention, last night whilst I couldn’t sleep I ended up watching a re-run of Law & Order: SVU. It was the episode Robin Williams guest starred in. He plays a man who lost his wife and child in childbirth, he didn’t argue with the doctor, trusting him to make what turned out to be the wrong call. As a result he’s obsessed with conformity and because of this he makes calls to fast food restaurants posing as a police officer. Long story short he asks them to commit crimes and the managers do as he asked, because he’s a police officer. The way he sees it he’s making a point about non-conformity, about how people do what they’re told. How people just believe what the government tells them. I don’t agree with his methods but I can certainly see his point. The other reason the episode sticks with me is because at the end his character vanishes without a trace, the police assume he must have jumped in the lake. But it makes no sense, he had a plan, he blew up the building. Everything was perfectly planned, if he was going to commit suicide he would have done so whilst making a point. Obviously the fact Robin Williams committed suicide in real life makes the episode a little more disturbing somehow, for lack of a better way to put it. He was one of my favourite actors when I was younger, Jumanji and Jack were two of my favourite films ever. I haven’t actually seen either of them since then, for some reason I can’t talk myself into watching them. I’ve gotten away from my point now, which was that strangely enough somebody else wrote about him today for this prompt. I found the picture at the end of that post especially fitting, it’s a picture from Jack with the words “What do I want to be when I grow up? Alive.”
I spend too much time worrying about whether I’m grown up enough or not, whether I should be moving faster or doing more. I probably spend too much time worrying about lots of things. Time worrying is wasted time, it’s time that could actually be spent doing something. Like I said above, life’s too short to worry about what other people think of you. I don’t really know what I want to be or what I want to do in life. Right now I have a reason to get out of bed, I would say in the morning but that’s not very accurate these days. It’s usually a feat I only achieve on match-days. Point is I have a reason to get out of bed, I have something to look forward to every week. For now that’s enough.