Tag Archives: Autism/Aspergers in books

Advent Calendar Days 20 & 21

It’s not quite the case that Christmas is cancelled because Freiburg got knocked out of the DFB Pokal on Wednesday, but it’s certainly not the way you want the first half of the season to end. Then again it’s not the fact they got knocked out, more by whom and how. Losing to Bremen was bad enough but doing so because of a goal which wasn’t a legal goal, well that’s going to hurt for quite some time. It’s funny, ever since the season started I’ve been bemoaning the existence and use of VAR and on Wednesday night I was angry because it wasn’t in use. Had it been in use it might have affected the outcome of Gladbach’s game against Leverkusen too, and the player who elbowed Matze in the head would have been sent off like he should have been. Though I’m not sure the VAR would have helped in the peculiar situation of the diving coach. That was truly bizarre, Leverkusen’s coach seemingly taking a dive after a Gladbach player almost clattered into him but just avoided him the end. Definitely the funniest moment from this week’s games.

But there’s point obsessing over it, they’re out and that’s that. I guess I should see the good point of the situation, it’s one less distraction from the all important task of staying in the league. First up after the winter break is Eintracht Frankfurt, a fixture that holds some very good memories indeed. Back in 2015 that was Nils Petersen’s first game as a Freiburg player, first game, first hat-trick. He didn’t take the penalty though, Vladimir Darida did that.

As much as I’m looking forward to that game I don’t really want to be thinking about January right now. Thinking so far ahead counts as thinking big and that’s the last thing I want to do. I don’t want to think big or make plans, all I want is for just a few months to have a nice quiet, peaceful existence, nothing more. I’m not making any new year’s resolutions and it’s not only because I see no point in doing so, more that for a while I don’t want anything to happen. Last year I got sucked into thinking everything was fine in December and then everything fell apart in January. So I don’t want the same thing to happen again, I don’t want to make any assumptions.

On the subject of things happening I made a decision earlier this week which surprised myself, not only me but the other relevant parties as well. I don’t know if it came out of nowhere or I’d already subconsciously decided this but either way I made the decision for the next appointment to be the last. It’s not entirely for the reasons I stated on Wednesday though. It’s not because I think I don’t need to talk anymore right now. Actually it’s the opposite, I’m tired of talking. I’m tired of having to go there knowing I won’t really tell the whole truth anyway. And I know that’s partly my fault, it’s just not easy to be honest and trust someone when for years you’ve gotten used to the fact that’s not an option. To borrow a quote from one of my favourite shows The Bridge, “my plan is not to have a plan.”I just want to read books and sleep. Mostly I just want to be left alone. I don’t know if it’s people I’m tired of or rather the pretense I feel like I need to put on in order to be around them. Either way I really wish I didn’t have somewhere to go tomorrow. I wish I’d been brave enough to say no when I was invited. I should be grateful I have friends yet right now I just want everyone to go away.

I want nothing more than to stay inside and lose myself in books, to just escape from reality completely. That’s one of things I talked about on Wednesday, how books are a better distraction for me than anything else. Playing Playstation is a good way to pass time but not to occupy my mind in quite the same way. No, playing games is more like anesthetizing yourself in a way but books are something else. At least that’s one good thing about the past few months, I set myself the target of reading 75 books this year and I’m one off reaching that goal. I just finished reading Going Underground, a book which features an autistic detective. I know, I shouldn’t even be reading books with autistic characters in them when they’re written by NTs because I invariably end up ranting about them. And this one did frustrate me a little, though not as much as Rubbernecker did. I suppose the fact the author actually has an autistic son has something to do with that. One good thing about the book is the writer takes the time to make it clear that Jonathan is an investigator, not a policeman. That’s important because the idea of someone like Jonathan being a policeman is absurd.

I am though unhappy with certain aspects of his character, like the fact he doesn’t seem to understand humour at all and that he’s completely oblivious to popular cultural references. I know some people with autism either don’t get or just don’t do humour. But I hate it when an autistic character is portrayed that way because it’s so stereotypical and it reinforces the view the general public holds that autistic people don’t get jokes. And even more importantly sometimes you come across parents who actually believe their child can’t be autistic because “my son is nice, friendly, intelligent and has a fantastic sense of humour.” Yeah, none of that precludes a person being autistic. I find that so offensive, the implication that we’re all unfriendly, stupid, unfeeling people who have no sense of humour whatsoever. Similarly I find it equally offensive that somehow autistic has become shorthand for “socially awkward/pedantic/weird/obsessive/mean/critical. Basically some NTs are using autistic as a synonym for any trait they don’t like or consider to be a negative trait. And that’s the other trait I wish writers would use less of when writing autistic characters, emotional detachment. Lots of autistic people have the opposite problem, feeling too much. They might not be able to actually express that however.

At least I knew the other book I was reading wouldn’t let me down, Bernie Gunther never has, well not so far anyway. I just finished book seven, Field Grey. From what I read of the reviews it seems to be a book which divides opinions. I have to admit it is the most challenging of them so far but it was interesting, I didn’t find the couple hundred pages of interrogations boring. I liked seeing the puzzle being pieced together and learning what happened to him after the war ended. Though it got a little confusing in the end with all the double crossing, I will admit that. It hasn’t dampened my enthusiasm any, I can’t wait to start reading the next one. I can take some comfort from that, the fact I’m looking forward to something.

Advent Calendar Days 18 & 19: Still no Matze

It’s only Tuesday and already I feel like I’m out of words, and just about everything else for that matter. There’s no reason I’d be looking forward to or enjoying Christmas anyway, but still, it’s not a good way to feel. It’s the same story as always, spend time with other people, have a good time and end up paying the price and deeply regretting it afterwards. To think that last week I was daydreaming about what it would be look to be more “normal” and to do regular people things. Of course that was just a daydream, not at all close to reality. It hurts even more when another autistic person tells you they “admire they way you can retreat within your own little world and choose not to interact with other people when you know it’ll stress you out.” It gets even worse when they go on to say how they wish they could do the same and stop pushing themselves to interact with people even though they know it makes them anxious. I don’t know if there’s a criticism implied in there but it sure feels like there was. Regardless the first part hurts no less and it doesn’t make any sense either. Not least because they think retreating within yourself is a choice rather than a defense mechanism. It’s definitely not something to envy. I had an NT make a similar comment once and that hurt too, but it hurts more coming from someone who should understand.

I suppose it’s a good thing I got this far before the whole thing started feeling like a chore. Now I’m only doing these posts because leaving something unfinished bugs me. I’ve opened 19 doors now and still no Matze, I don’t think he’s in there. I think only the most popular players are in there, not necessarily the current squad. That would explain why Andre Schürrle is in there. Which just makes all of this even more disappointing. First no Freiburg advent calendar and now no Matze either. I know, that’s a pathetic problem to have but I’m grateful to have such things to deal with right now. I would like nothing more than a month without a real life major problem to deal with. December wasn’t such a month, I’m hoping January will be. It would be nice to have some peace and quiet for a change. Though with the way I feel at the moment peace and quiet feels like it might not be enough.

All this negativity I feel like I have to mention at least one good thing. Well tonight was DFB Pokal night, part one of two. I got three out of my four predictions right, so that’s not so bad. The three I got right were Paderborn, Mainz and Schalke. Unfortunately I was wrong in regard to 1.FC Nürnberg. Obviously tomorrow right I’ve predicted Freiburg to beat Bremen, at least I hope they do anyway. It’s the same with Gladbach, more hope than anything else, I don’t want Matze to get knocked out after all. Whether they can actually beat Leverkusen is another story. I know the league is one thing and the cup is another but Leverkusen did beat Gladbach 5-1 earlier this year, so that doesn’t leave much room for hope. Similarly I don’t hold much hope for Heidenheim pulling off a surprise and beating Eintracht Frankfurt. As for Bayern and Dortmund, who the hell knows.

The other positive I can glean from the past few days is the fact I’ve been reading more. Being separated from my tablet helped on that count. With less time to read internet forums on various subjects I had to find another way to occupy myself late at night when I couldn’t sleep. It’s good in another way too, read less nonsense and you have less to get angry and rant about. Well, that was the theory anyway. Then I went and read Rubbernecker and found something to rant about after all. Yet another book where an author equates Aspergers with “lacking in empathy and sensitivity.” There’s plenty I could rant about, I won’t because I’m too tired for that. But there is one point I have to mention, namely that the book concludes with the point that essentially the key to happiness for an autistic person is learning how to act normal and doing that, making the NTs around you happy, giving up your special interest and worst of all learning how to tolerate people touching you because that’s one of the normal human things you need to be able to do. Like I said, way too many things to rant about. So many that I feel more sad than angry about it; sad that people still think this rubbish about autism.

Advent Calendar Day 9: Adventures in Autism

With the way I’ve been feeling lately I’ve not really seen the point in doing anything and that includes writing, though I doubt myself when it comes to writing a lot anyway. I don’t find it easy to let other people read what I’ve written, especially when it’s fiction. Every once in a while I think what’s the point in writing anything when most of it is destined to go unread by anyone but me. Today I was provided with a very good reason as to why it’s important to keep writing a certain kind of story, that is the autism themed ones. Earlier I got sent a link to a post about a very offensive book about autism. A book which I’m not going to name, though I don’t really need to, the details will unfortunately make it clear. For there aren’t many books written by such a despicable human being who somehow manages to combine self centerdness, child abuse, hatred of disabled people and eugenics. The worst thing of all is the book isn’t fiction.

Before I read the link I thought “great another autism book written by one of those parents” but didn’t really expect it to be any worse than the many terrible articles and books I’ve read in the past. I was wrong, very wrong. I’ve read several articles and tweets about the book, enough to know that I’m not going to be able to read it without physically destroying the book in the process. I wish I could say I’m surprised, but not that much. It’s all too depressingly familiar. You live in a world where a parent of an autistic child murders that child and they are somehow the one who gets all the sympathy – then you can’t be surprised about stuff like this. Even so being sad their child is autistic is one thing, openly mocking them and writing a book in which you call them names and share their personal information, that is so far beyond the line it defies description. To think a few days ago I was ranting about the tv show The A Word and how terrible his parents are. In doing so I said “I’m so glad Joe is fictional because the thought of a kid having parents like that in real life is unbearable.”

Well, now it’s the other way around. I wish this boy were fictional. I wish as his evil mother thinks that autistic people like him and me didn’t have feelings and thoughts, that we didn’t understand that people like her hate us. What’s most disturbing about the book (I know, try and pick) is the review from a newspaper praising it for it’s “refreshing honesty.” You mean you’re glad this parent wrote this book saying how disabled people like her son are a burden, that they shouldn’t reproduce, openly making fun of them and terrorizing them? Are they glad because they think that way too but the constraints of civilized society prevent them from openly expressing their views? And now that a parent of a disabled child has said it they feel like it’s validated their views somehow? I’m so disappointed that Jon Stewart had anything good to say about this book, more disappointed than I can even put into words.

Anyway, the point I was going to make before getting lost in my rant is that without even actually reading it that book reminded me of why it’s important for people who actually understand autism to write about it. My stories are always realistic in that sense and sometimes that means they are a little depressing, but I write about the good and bad sides of autism. I don’t shy away from writing about difficult stuff and I don’t oversell the positives. My own situation has provided me with a perfect viewpoint as to how autism can mean very different things for different people. But when “those parents” rant at you about how you don’t understand autism because you’re high functioning they fail to realise that. Somehow their “normal” brain doesn’t register the fact that an autistic person like myself is highly likely to have at least one autistic sibling. Point that out and they’ll probably foolishly assume they’re “high-functioning” like you. Same as they foolishly assume that being able to type makes you capable of everything you need to do in order to function in the real world. With all their stupidity and rigid views maybe they have something wrong with them.

All that ranting and I haven’t even mentioned football once, that doesn’t happen often. It’s not like nothing has happened on that front today either, two coaches sacked in one day. Well only of them of them officially, Dortmund haven’t officially confirmed it yet but that’ll no doubt happen in the morning. It’s no surprise and I don’t mean because of the terrible streak Dortmund have been on lately. I’m not enjoying someone else’s downfall, just enjoying being right and winning my bet. They should have kept Thomas Tuchel. Ironic thing is in winning today Bremen helped me win my bet. All the same I would have preferred they not win, it’s put even more pressure on Freiburg tomorrow morning to beat Cologne. Thanks to Bremen winning Freiburg drop back down into 17th place. With only two match-days left it’s looking like it’s going to be another Christmas spent in the relegation zone.

Sticking with It: When to give up on a book

I don’t have a hard and fast rule about when to give up on a book. I’ve often thought I should have one but have never been able to decide upon what the rule should be. Nor am I sure if indeed I should have such a rule. Sometimes you just know you’re not going to get to the end of a book, from the first few pages you just know it’s not for you. I don’t like making snap judgements about books but sometimes you just know. Equally there are other books you stick with even though you have negative feelings about it based on the first few pages or the first chapter. I stick with it usually because someone has promised me I’ll love it. I’m reading a book right now that required me to make a decision of that nature. Whether I should force myself to continue reading it. The book in question is “A Man Named Ove.” I was excited about getting it and I liked it at first. Then about fifty pages in something changed. When I realised I was spending more time thinking about the book than actually reading it then I decided to give it another shot. In doing so I found that continuing is the right course of action and also came across a potential reason why I stopped reading it.

As the title suggests it’s about a man named Ove. His wife died recently and he plans to kill himself to be with her. Because he thinks he can’t live without her. As he put it he never lived before he met her and not afterwards either. I’ve read a little over 100 pages and so far two of his suicide attempts have been interrupted by his neighbours in some way. In other words life keeps getting in the way. His determination to complete his task is still there but he’s doing these things, helping these people because his wife would want him to. She’s gone but he’s still living for her. He wants to be with her but he doesn’t really want to die.

Death and deliberations over such matters is something which occupies my thoughts quite a bit of the time. Without realising it the book got to me. It’s why I stopped reading it I think. I’ve never gotten that far in such a plan but I’ve certainly made a lot of plans. Like with Ove life just keeps getting in the way. The problems remain, the reasons for wanting to do it are the same but there’s also reasons not to. And those reasons aren’t real. There are times I want everything to go away and I think the only way to achieve that is by not being alive anymore. Except it’s not really what I want, I have to keep reminding myself of that fact when I think such thoughts. It’s what Ove himself is learning. At least I hope he realises it by the end of the book anyway.

To get back to the topic of giving up on books it’s not something I do often. I can remember the few books I’ve started and given up on. Three autism related books, one which was written by a so called professional and I had to stop reading because the way the author talked about people with autism and learning disabilities was just downright offensive. Two others which were personal accounts, one I just didn’t get along with and the other wasn’t especially well written. Though it’s a translation so that may be the reason. Either way I couldn’t finish it. Another book I gave up on after reading just a few pages was one about a team of soldiers who’s role is to defuse explosive devices. It covered their tour in either Iraq or Afghanistan. It felt like it was trying to be Generation Kill and I realised I’d rather just read that again than a cheap imitation.

Unless I really hate a book I don’t like to give up on it. I don’t know why, maybe my obsessive and completionist nature has something to do with it. I’m more likely to put aside a book and come back to it later than give up. I did eventually finish A Man Named Ove and it was worth the battle to finish it. All those people who got in the way, or he saw as getting in the way, he helped them without even knowing it. His life with his wife was over but it didn’t mean his life had to end.Without even trying to he found that his life still had purpose. He carried on doing what he always did, helping people and always doing the right thing. And he never did get around to killing himself.

I know from reading reviews online that some people found the book a little too depressing, that they didn’t like the fact Ove complained about everything. But he didn’t, he just called things as he saw them. Not everyone likes to pretend that everything is all fun and games, that life is great. It’s one of the things I liked about Ove, that he didn’t feel the need to pretend. I don’t usually like books about relationships or romance of any kind but this I liked. Seeing the effect his wife had on him was sweet. It didn’t matter how other people saw him, he knew she loved him and that she could see the real him. It’s all that mattered.

Some books you have to battle with to finish and others you get through so fast you’re disappointed you read it so quickly. The book I finished reading yesterday falls into the latter category. The book in question is Shtum. It’s about an autistic boy named Jonah and his parents fight to get him into a school which can meet his needs. Right up until the end of the book I thought it was perfect. It gets all the autism stuff right (which is to be expected because the author has an autistic child) and it doesn’t sugarcoat it. It shows honestly the challenges of taking care of an autistic child and more importantly of the way such challenges are made more difficult by the very people who are meant to help. It illustrates perfectly the cruelty of the bureaucracy in relation to the education system and special needs. The author employs a neat trick to do this, part of the story is told through letters and reports about Jonah. Laid bare in front of you is the often dehumanizing way such systems view children like Jonah. The way they reduce them to meaningless phrases and statistics. One point he makes well in this way is the fact the education system points out they only have to provide an appropriate education for Jonah. Not the best, not one which is most suited to him, it just has to be “appropriate.” You wouldn’t accept that for a non-disabled child so why is it good enough for a disabled one? And what they mean by appropriate is often far from it. They want to send him to a standard special school, one where they won’t really teach him anything. He’ll spend his days in a classroom just being occupied, being kept busy.

In some ways it succeeds where the TV show The A Word failed. The book is mainly about autism but it shows the rest of their life too, it makes it perfectly clear that whilst autism does take over your life in a sense the world around you is still there. Showing the constant battle with the education authorities and social care and all the rest of it the book makes one very pertinent point. The autism is difficult to deal with, but it’s not what necessarily consumes your life and runs you down till you have nothing left to give. More often that not it’s the refusal of the education authorities to do what they are meant to. The way the system works kids are set up to fail. In fact when it comes to autism they have to fail before they can get help. That’s the kind of thinking the system is predicated on when it comes to autism. They won’t just send them to an appropriate school to begin with. You have to try mainstream first, fail terribly, watch it at all fall apart and then get the right placement. They seem not to care that they’re destroying a person in the process.

Not pulling any punches means the book may make some people feel uncomfortable. No doubt they’d prefer the world portrayed in The A Word where you get whatever you need just by asking for it. In spite of showing how hard it can be to take care of an autistic child the book also shows how much they love their son. It gets across the point that finding it hard to take care of him doesn’t mean they love him any less. They aren’t sending him away to school for their own sake or because they want him gone, it’s what best for him.

The book itself is perfect, it’s the afterword that’s the problem. There’s two points I find contentious. First of all the author likes and praises The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime. I’m disappointed that anyone who knows anything about autism can like that book. It’s a book based on crude stereotypes and does nothing to change perceptions of autism. Secondly he talks about how views of autism have changed in recent years. How autism, especially Aspergers has almost become fashionable and that it’s even been adopted as a badge of honour. In his words “This was galling to me and, no doubt to the countless other families dealing with the day-to-day misunderstandings and devastation it could bring.”

Now I don’t view it as a badge of honour, but it’s a part of me and I accept that. What’s the alternative, to be ashamed of it? Also he’s speaking for himself, he should realise that, his view is not necessarily one other people share. Whether that be autistic people themselves or their parents and families. You can recognise the difficulties it causes and be sad about that yet at the same time be proud of the good things. It’s a shame because one good point I was going to make about the book was that it gets across the fact it’s not all doom and gloom, yes it’s hard but there are funny moments and happy ones just like with any other child. This is one count The A Word fails on to me,  but then his mother is too obsessed with making him normal than accepting her son for who he is and trying to make him happy, so that’s no surprise really.

It’s the fact he specifically referred to Aspergers that annoys me, the reason being that sometimes people like to try to make the argument that it’s not a real disability, not in comparison to “real autism.” I’m not saying he’s implying that but still it bugs me. In the foreword his son is described as being “profoundly autistic.” In other words his experience is of a severely autistic child with learning difficulties. Point is his experience is not with Aspergers. So maybe he should refrain from commenting on or trying to tell to us how we should view it. If someone who has Aspergers wants to view it as “a badge of honour” then that’s their prerogative. It’s not the way I feel about it, but if someone feels that way about it then I respect that.

October – the month of Oliver

Naming this month was a little tricky, coming up with a name wasn’t difficult. The problem is he’s not the only Oliver. The one it is named for is Marc-Oliver Kempf who is more than ok in my book. Problem is there’s another Oliver whom I’m not too fond of, not because he left, it’s where he went that’s the problem. Obviously I’m not happy with him leaving but I could eventually get over that, him going to H96, that I can never get over. But I couldn’t come up with another name, and I didn’t think it was right to change it just because of that. I mean it’s not Marc-Oliver’s fault they happen to share a name.

I’ve been putting off writing this post for quite some time, that much is obvious given that it’s about October and it’s now December. I didn’t know the reasons why until I started looking through that month’s posts. Now I have an idea as to why that might be. October was the month in which Germany wrapped up their Euro qualification in none too perfect fashion. As for their game against Ireland, well the less said about that the better.

From a Freiburg perspective they got knocked out of the DFB Pokal. Not only them but the two other teams I was rooting for as well. Freiburg played five games in October and won just one of them, a 5-2 victory over Greuther Fürth. One win, two losses and two draws. The KSC game I can’t complain that much, if it had gone either way it would have been a fair result. A 1-1 draw is a fair result. It just really smarts, you figure a goal that late in the game has to be the winner but it just wasn’t meant to be. I’m more disappointed with the Braunschweig result, a own goal by Mujdza kicking off their comeback. That wasn’t just unlucky, that’s game they should and could have taken control of.

It’s not just for football reasons that I would prefer October remain forgotten, I made plenty of mistakes which I’d rather forget. Mistakes which are predictably social related. It’s for that reason I shouldn’t forget about them, I should remember them because they serve as an excellent reminder of why I should limit such situations. That is I should limit the amount of situations in which such problems could occur. In this instance it was partly my own fault. I should have just let it go. I know I could never make my peace with the situation but I was never going to get any answers either. There was going to be no good outcome. One thing is for certain I wasted far too much time obsessing over this. Time which could have spent on far more constructive activities. It shouldn’t take so long for me to realise that I’m obsessing over something and that I need to put a stop to it.

Sometimes time can help, letting some time pass before you attempt to make sense of it can be useful. I don’t know if that’s the case here, now I look back at what happened and wonder not only how any of it could have happened but just why I cared so much. The best thing to do I think is to accept that none of it makes sense to me and most likely never will. It’s most likely always going to be that way, jumping from one social related crisis to the next.

I didn’t watch many films in October but one I did watch was “The Hour of the Lynx.” It’s one I wish I really hadn’t watched, not because it wasn’t a good film, to the contrary, it was an excellent film. Just a very depressing one which really got to me, enough to write a post about it which isn’t something I do often these days.  As for what else I watched I also went to the cinema to see Michael Fassbender in Macbeth. For one thing I was glad I’d read the play because if I hadn’t I wouldn’t have had any idea what was going on. I did not enjoy the film at all and honestly it’s one of the few films that I’ve seen at the cinema which I seriously considered walking out of.

The other films I watched in October were Sicario, Secretary and Killer Joe. The latter I want to watch again before I make any comments on. Secretary however I do have something to write about.It’s not the first time I’ve seen the film, more like the sixth or seventh time I’ve seen it by now. I rewatched it because of a conversation with the only person I’ve met in real life who not only gets my fascination with James Spader but actually shares it.

They mentioned to me that we disagreed about the ending. I thought they meant that I thought it’s not real, which I’m not sure it is. I think it’s possible that the ending is just her delusion in her dehydrated state. Because I’m not sure that Edward could or would let another person in that way. But that wasn’t it. The point we differed on was whether or not they were both satisfied with the ending, with being together, assuming that it’s real that is. Because the real fun is not at home, it’s at work. Being left at home would not suit Lee at all, knowing that Edward is going to go off to work and that her replacement will be there. That’s the only place he can be himself, where he can have any kind of relationship. Writing this I’m not sure on what we disagreed, on who thinks what. Because thinking about it I don’t think either Edward or Lee is happy with the new situation. If it was real then it’s like he felt obligated to save her.

I’m starting to feel like I should take notes in such conversations, these days I can never remember what was said, or rather I can remember that but not who said what. When I don’t want to remember I can recall exactly what I or someone else said, and when I do want to remember I can’t. I’ve been a lot more distracted and unfocused these past few months. It’s most unusual, the winter months are usually my favourite time of year. When I come out of hibernation so to speak. This year has been all over the place, in lots of different ways.

I didn’t read many books either but one I did read made me very angry, the book in question being The Rosie Project. The source of my anger was when Don talks to the woman who’s responsible for putting together the presentation he’s giving about the genetics of autism. They have a conversation in which she expresses the view that the boys have to alter their behaviour so as to form relationships. But she commits a far bigger infraction than that when she criticizes him for using the word Aspie in his presentation. It’s easier just to quote the section in question:

“You know we never use that word, Aspies, We don’t want them thinking it’s some sort of club.” More negative implications from someone who was presumably paid to assist and encourage.

“Like homosexuality?” I said.

“Touche.” said Julie. “But it’s different. If they don’t change, they’re not going to have real relationships – they’ll never have partners.”

So many things about that make me angry it’s difficult to know where to begin. But how about we start with the fact that she’s presuming to speak for them, she’s not autistic and more to the point, she’s not them. How can she presume to know what they want, if they’re even interested in relationships or any of that. How does she know that they have to change in order for someone to like or love them. I find that insulting, like she’s saying no-one could love them as they are. How about another autistic person for one thing. And this is the thing that makes me angriest of all, who the hell is she to say whether or not they should use the word Aspie or not. She has no right to decide such things, to define how they should see themselves. And why shouldn’t they see it as some sort of club, god forbid we should feel like we belong somewhere. I don’t even remember if I liked the book or not, but then that’s not really important because I only read it for research purposes. Not because I’m interested in pursuing a relationship with a NT but because I wanted to familiarize myself with a such a concept in order to give me a little more perspective on writing a relationship like this. I wanted to know how much compromise such a relationship should involve and to see what the problems would be.

I didn’t get a lot of reading done, I only read two other books Who Invented the Stepover and Star Trek Academy: Collision Course. The latter is a favourite of mine and is one of those books I read when I don’t know what else to do. Whether or not Spock is meant to be autistic is irrelevant, point is this book is one of the best portrayals ever. It details how someone like Spock might think and also provides some excellent descriptions of sensory overload from an autistic person’s perspective. Who Invented the Stepover is a trivia book and provides many interesting football related facts from all over the world. And yes Jogi and Hansi are in there,because of their by now famous blue sweaters, there’s even a picture of the two of them looking rather fetching in said sweaters. Given the title of the section, “Best-dressed Coach” I’d consider it a travesty if Jogi wasn’t mentioned in some way.

IMG_20151221_122338That’s not my favourite thing about the book however. What I liked most about the book is Freiburg related. When I read the question “What is greatest relegation escape act of all time?” I knew Freiburg would not escape a mention in the answering of this question. I was not disappointed, in answering the question the story of their survival at the end of the 1993-94 season is told. Funnily enough the story also involves Nürnberg and Bayern. So in the same story you have a Jogi, Hansi and an Andreas team. In fact Andreas Köpke played in the game mentioned below.

The gist of it is with three games left to play Freiburg were four points and one goal behind 1.FCN in 16th place. Here’s the first incredible element of the story. After not winning one solitary game in four months, they then won their last three games. A fact which meant 1.FCN needed from their last three games one win and one draw. A draw they were in the process of getting against champions Bayern when a phantom goal occurred. Long story short they protested against the result of the game and they got a replay. They then lost said replay 5-0 to Bayern and were relegated on goal difference. The following season Freiburg achieved the feat of finishing third in the Bundesliga, whilst their local rivals VfB Stuttgart languished in twelfth. Then as is their way two seasons later they were relegated finishing in 17th place. Stuttgart on the other hand were at the time under the guidance of Jogi Löw and finished in fourth. His first season in charge and his team get relegated. Funny how things work out. Even more ironic is on the final day of the season Freiburg played KSC, another one of Jogi’s teams. The next season it was KSC who found themselves relegated.

Back to the topic at hand, to finish my favourite collectibles of the month. I got lots of great tickets including the two Germany ones for the month but it’s a Poland ticket which is actually my favourite of the month. For I not only got a ticket but a VIP one and a rather awesome case to go with it:

IMG_20151221_122733IMG_20151221_123057IMG_20151221_122830My favourite Jogi related collectible of the month was obtained by accident in that I didn’t buy it because of him, I didn’t know he was in there. It’s a program from Freiburg’s game with St Pauli, and on the first page is an article detailing their past encounters, an article which features pictures of both Christian Streich and Jogi from when they played for Freiburg:

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