Tag Archives: Alexander Schwolow

Advent Calendar Day 10: Snow Day in Köln

Of all the things I expected to happen today that wasn’t one of them. I know it doesn’t sound good when you go into a game like this unsure if your team can win or not, but I didn’t want to curse anything by thinking about winning at all. I honestly thought they would draw and well they almost did. Were it not for Nils Petersen’s last minute penalty it would have been a 3-3 draw, and quite a spectacular one too. Freiburg came back to win 4-3 and that’s great, but it doesn’t mean they won’t be relegated. Those three goals they conceded are exactly why relegation is still a very real threat. That was their way of playing in the 2.Bundesliga in 2015/16, don’t worry if you concede two, we’ll just go and score three more. They’ve always been partial to a very open style of play, which isn’t to say they can’t be disciplined defensively. Their 0-0 draw against Dortmund earlier in the season proves that, a result all the more impressive for the fact they played the majority of the game with ten men. That open kind of play worked when they had players like Maximilian Philipp and Vincenzo Grifo around. But they left in the summer for Dortmund and Gladbach, taking some of the magic. their goals and more importantly their assists with them.

I don’t even know what today’s game was, it was crazy that’s for sure. And it’s proof that whatever they do Köln are doomed, they threw away a three goal lead, you can’t draw any other conclusion. Then again this game didn’t doom them, that was already done several match-days ago. There remains only one question, can they really go a whole Bundesliga season without winning a single game? Today’s game brought back a lot of memories, like the equally crazy (but much better to watch) snow game against Leipzig in the 2015/16 season. And of course their first game of that season against 1.FC Nürnberg. which was Nil’s first league game as a proper Freiburg player. A game in which he scored a hat-trick and just like today two of them were penalties. In fact Nils scored a hat-trick in his first ever game for Freiburg as well, against Eintracht Frankfurt.

1.FC Köln v SC Freiburg 2017/18 Highlights

Speaking of memories there was a very familiar face at today’s game, though not a very happy one obviously:

Lukas Podolski at 1.FC Köln v SC Freiburg 2017/18

As happy as I am they won I don’t feel like I can celebrate, not only  because they’re still in danger of relegation but the game seems to be reflective of how their season is going and life in general. They can’t go on conceding goals at the rate they have, not even if they start scoring some themselves. On the subject of unexpected events the confirmation of the sacking of Peter Bosz wasn’t one of them. The announcement of his replacement the very same day however was, not just the fact they did so quickly but who it was. They’ve switched one Peter for another, Dortmund’s temporary coach until the end of the season being none other than former Köln coach Peter Stöger. I don’t think anyone saw that coming.

I still can’t find a word other than crazy to describe today’s game but I know one thing, I really needed today. It was exciting, infuriating and intense. But most of all it was fun and for those two hours the game was on things felt like they used to do, like when I first started watching them. They were struggling then and they’re struggling now, so it’s not that they’ve changed, it’s me. But I don’t want to reflect on that now or anything else serious or real life related, today was fun and that’s enough. For once I just want something to be simple. Today’s game was anything but simple but the joy I derived from it was exactly that. No obsessing over what I’m doing and why, no wondering if maybe I’m not too obsessed and shouldn’t I be spending time with other people instead of stuck in my room alone. Today none of that mattered. Today there was the game and nothing else.

 

Lowered Expectations

These past few months I’ve had very low expectations of myself and the past few weeks that’s been true more than ever. The logic is simple, keep expectations low so that way I won’t be disappointed when I fail to live up to them. This week all I have to do is write one small letter, I know it’s only Tuesday but I’m already beating myself up for not having gotten it done. All this time thinking about it and I could have just written the damn thing by now. Yet it’s not so easy, not least (and I’m aware this sounds absurd) because I don’t know what to say. Or rather I know what to say I just don’t know how to put it, how to make myself come across politely. I’m used to things making me feel stupid in some way but this is something else, it’s making me feel like words aren’t my friends either. It’s had the effect of not making me want to write anything, though I can’t blame that for not posting anything on here, I haven’t felt particularly motivated in that respect anyway. So unmotivated have I felt on that count I’ve stopped bothering to make excuses to myself as to why I haven’t done so, nor did I make myself promises, saying that I would try the next day.

When it comes to this stupid letter however I have made many excuses and found just as many distractions.  First of all falling back on the usual tried and tested methods such as looking for new Jogi pictures, sorting stickers and then resorting to sorting out the ever growing list of recordings on my hard-drive. The latter provided quite a bit of fun, I’d forgotten about all the Copa America games I’d collected last summer and the fact that it wasn’t all doom and gloom. As for new distractions I’ve spent quite a bit of time dreaming about Freiburg’s Turkish defender Çağlar Söyüncü. In my story I paired him up with Alexander Schwolow as friends simply because that’s how I wanted things to be. And it turns out they have quite the budding friendship in real life, at least on the pitch anyway. It’s one of the things which has cheered me up somewhat this week. I always like getting pictures of my favourite players but these were extra special, and just to make it a little bit more fun I made a GIF too:

caglar-soyuncu-alexander-schwolow-freiburg-v-koln-2016-17 caglar-soyuncu-alexander-schwolow-freiburg-v-koln-2016-17-1 caglar-soyuncu-alexander-schwolow-freiburg-v-koln-2016-17-2caglar-soyuncu-alexander-schwolow-freiburg-v-koln-2016-17-3I know I’m getting ahead of myself seeing as there’s still fourteen matches to go of this season but I’ve already made up my mind, the name on my home shirt next year is going to be Söyüncü. In one way I suppose that’s a good thing, the idea that I’m thinking ahead, even if it’s only in a football sense. Thinking ahead to next season means a part of me is planning on being around that long. Even if I don’t feel like it’s true evidently another part of me knows better. I can’t say that I’m feeling any better though because that wouldn’t be true at all. The feeling that I’m sleepwalking through everything won’t go away. Even when I’m watching Freiburg play I feel like I’m not quite all there. I start off feeling fine but the longer the game goes on the harder it gets to keep paying attention to it and my mind ends up drifting.

I thought all those feelings might disappear when I got some sleep but in retrospect I don’t think the sleeping tablets helped that much. For one thing without them I’ve fallen back into my old routine of sleeping in the day and being awake at night, and for another I didn’t like the way they made my head feel. They helped me get some sleep and actually at night-time too, problem is I felt sleepy in the day as well, even with just a half dose. But it doesn’t matter in the long run anyway since they could only be a temporary solution. I’m not quite sure where all this leaves me now or what if anyhing to do next. I’m not keen on the idea of going back there again. I’m not sure listening to someone tell me that at least my speech is good, there must be good things about having autism and that I should just do the things which make me happy is going to help. Great, so I’m capable enough in terms of speech and expressing myself to say that I feel like I don’t want to be alive anymore but I can’t articulate why. And of course I have to live with this, with everything not making sense. I can imagine their answer to that too, things like this don’t make sense to anyone and it’s difficult for everyone. I have no idea if that makes any sense, I hope it’s not descending into rant territory anyway because I said I wouldn’t do that today. I’ve aleady exceeded my rant limit by ranting about Leipzig and last week’s events.

Whatever the answer to any of that there’s one thing I know for definite, I can’t do something because someone else thinks it’s a good idea or it’s what I should be doing. If I write something it has to be because I feel like it. Forcing myself to write could end up making me hate it and were that to happen I’d pretty much be left with nothing. Football is a good interest to have right now but it’s nothing without the stories. If I lost the stories I might actually start to feel lonely. I know I feel a little lonely even with them but not quite so much. At least when there’s always at least one character living in my head then I always have someone to talk to. And I don’t have to worry about what time of day it is. People don’t like being woken up at 4:00am unless it’s a real emergency. And apparently having an existential crisis isn’t an emergency, nor is finding a new Jogi video either.

Normally I would say that the week can’t have been strange because everything is always strange. Yet after last weekend’s events I think I can say just that. I’m not sure what result was more surprising, Dortmund losing 2-1 to Darmstadt or RBL losing 3-0 to HSV. The former resulted in the commentator saying that sometimes things happen in football which can’t be explained. The words stuck with me, as did the fact Darmstadt won at all. Surely given their perilous situation they can’t possibly survive, it makes me wonder if there’s a message in that, sometimes even the loser gets to win. As for HSV that was a different kind of incredible, no-one would have predicted them being the team to breach Fortress Leipzig, or doing it in the way they did. It led to me coining the phrase “Holy Hamburger SV Batman.” Which sums up effectively the weirdness of that situation, and just to make it a little more interesting one of the goals was scored by Kyriakos Papadopoulos who spent some time on loan at RBL earlier this season. He was of course on loan from Leverkusen and he scored against them too. It’s exactly the kind of trivia I love. In that sense I’m glad I still care enough to remember such things. The day I stop caring about random facts and trivia is the day I know all is lost.

Bundesliga 2016/17 Album

Of all the things I’ve been looking forward to this season the new sticker album would come close to topping the list and for two simple reasons, Freiburg being back in the top flight and finally getting a sticker of Nils Petersen as a Freiburg player. I’ve waited two years for the latter and it was worth the wait. As luck would have it I got one of his stickers in the first lot of packets I opened from the blisterpack, the shiny version of him too.  In total I got six Freiburg players from the first lot of stickers, including getting Alexander Schwolow in the first page of the album which made me most unhappy. I wanted to get him from a packet and now I feel cheated of that. As well as Nils and Alex I also got who is shaping up to be my favourite player this season, Turkish defender Caglar Söyüncü. And Vincenzo Grifo, Marc-Oliver Kempf and Aleksandar Ignjovski. From the packets however it wasn’t a Freiburg player who was the first of my favourites to appear, that honour goes to Jonas Hector of 1.FC Köln. Now that I don’t mind, he may not be a Freiburg man but I like him a great deal and I was just as happy get Thomas Müller and Robert Lewandowski.

I do however have one major complaint with the album, just like the Champions League one it has no sticker of Matthias Ginter or Erik Durm, he  was in there last season but isn’t now. It’s one of two reasons why I have no pictures of the Dortmund page. The other reason is the same one there’s no picture of the Bayern page either, with Freiburg being back in the top flight it’s not necessary. They’re in there and instead VfB Stuttgart and Hannover 96 suffer the ignomy of having just a sticker for their badge and kits at the back of the album:

20170206_151824 20170206_151647-1 20170206_174353 20170206_174406alexander-schwolow-sc-freiburg-2016-17-bundesliga-sticker jonas-hector-1-fc-koln-2016-17-bundesliga-sticker caglar-soyuncu-sc-freiburg-2016-17-bundesliga-sticker aleksandar-ignjovski-sc-freiburg-2016-17-bundesliga-sticker sc-freiburg-mannschaft-2016-17-bundesliga-sticker marc-oliver-kempf-sc-freiburg-2016-17-bundesliga-sticker robert-lewandowski-bayern-2016-17-bundesliga-sticker nils-petersen-sc-freiburg-shiny-2016-17-bundesliga-sticker vincenzo-grifo-sc-freiburg-2016-17-bundesliga-sticker sc-freiburg-trikots-2016-17-bundesliga-sticker thomas-muller-bayern-2016-17-bundesliga-sticker

Advent Calendar Day 4: Schwolow Strikes Back/New Jogi Pictures

Yesterday I said it would have been perfect had I gotten Schwolow in the calendar, well I got my wish in a way. Typical, I wrote about him yesterday because he was the man of the hour and now I have to write about him again because today is his day. There’s two other coincidences too which make the day similar to yesterday. First of all as the title says, more new Jogi pictures, some from an interview from Barcelona’s TV channel, two from their visit to training and one from the match itself. The interview would be a real find, were it not for the fact they have of course dubbed it over with Spanish. You can only pick out a few words of what Jogi’s saying, still at least you get to see him smile. These posts are certainly a lot easier when I get new pictures of Jogi, of course that doesn’t happen every day but I should get a few more such chances next week. At least I will if the article I read is accurate. I’ve read two articles which say two different things. One which said Jogi will be going to Gladbach’s game on Tuesday and Dortmund’s on Wednesday and another which mentioned the others going but not him. I also read he plans on going to Gladbach’s youth game played just before the main game on Tuesday, a game which from what I can see isn’t on German TV. Which leaves two choices, either Serbian or Portuguese TV, obviously I’m going with the Serbian option.

The other coincidence is Eintracht Frankfurt drawing 1-1 with Augsburg, now Freiburg aren’t the only team to draw all weekend. The draw works well in their favour, it stopped Augsburg from leaping ahead of Freiburg in the table. It’s good for Matze and Dortmund too because had Frankfurt won they would have moved up to third place, sending Dortmund down to seventh.

It’s perfect in a way that Schwolow made his appearance today, and not just because four is one of my favourite numbers. Today is the day someone finally figured out the origin of my nickname, its origins going back to a game in which Schwolow was also the man of the hour. RBL may be top of the Bundesliga and beaten Freiburg 4-1 this time around but they didn’t win the first two encounters, and neither did they win the title last season.  That’s worth remembering. Alexander_Schwolow_save_1_SC_Freiburg_v_RB_LeipzigAlexander_Schwolow_save_2_SC_Freiburg_v_RB_LeipzigAlexander_Schwolow_save_of_the_game_SC_Freiburg_v_RB_LeipzigAlexander_Schwolow_celebrates_SC_Freiburg_v_RB_LeipzigAnd I’ll never forget this picture, it’s the reason for the Star Wars joke in the title:

Alexander Schwolow als SchowbaccaAs for the Dortmund calendar behind door number four was Spanish midfielder Mikel Merino who so far this season has made just one appearance. It’s perfect that he was today’s player simply because of his nationality.

20161205_011131-1Speaking of Spain that brings me to the real entertainment, first the picture from Barcelona’s game and then the two from training:

Joachim Löw and Andreas Köpke during spanish La Liga match between Futbol Club Barcelona and Real Madrid at Camp Nou Stadium in Barcelona , Spain. Decembe r03, 2016. PUBLICATIONxINxGERxSUIxAUTxPOLxDENxNORxSWExONLY (20161203002) Joachim Loew and Andreas Köpke during Spanish La League Match between Futbol Club Barcelona and Real Madrid AT Camp Nou Stage in Barcelona Spain Decembe 2016 PUBLICATIONxINxGERxSUIxAUTxPOLxDENxNORxSWExONLY

joachim-low-barcelona-training-2016-1 joachim-low-barcelona-training-2016-2And of course the video and some pictures taken from it:

joachim-low-barca-tv-interview-04-12-16-1 joachim-low-barca-tv-interview-04-12-16-2 joachim-low-barca-tv-interview-04-12-16-3 joachim-low-barca-tv-interview-04-12-16-4

Advent Calendar Day 3: Safe Hands Schwolow/New Jogi Pictures

Not writing for a while has the same effect not talking out loud does, the longer you leave it the harder it becomes to get the words out. And I do the same thing too, always finding an excuse not to do it,  putting it off and deciding it can wait which never helps. I could have written this earlier, I could have found the time but I just kept avoiding it. Three days into the promise I made myself and already I’m trying to talk myself out of it. I feel much the same way about the events of the upcoming week, but in regards to those I also have to keep my word. At least today went well, not perfect but close enough for me to have no major complaints. Freiburg didn’t win against Leverkusen but I’m not complaining about that, not after escaping defeat in the last minutes of the game thanks to Schwolow’s penalty save. A save which makes the title sort of ironic for it wasn’t with his hands he saved it but in actuality his foot, but that makes for a much less snappy title. A point for Freiburg, the video of Jogi from El Classico and a pleasant Jogi related surprise, no I really can’t complain about today’s events. Not even about the fact Freiburg had a little help in getting their point against Leverkusen, it wasn’t just the penalty from Chicharito that was bad, the whole Leverkusen side were terrible the first half.

One thing I’m very glad about is that it wasn’t Söyüncü who gave the penalty away. Like I said it wasn’t a great penalty but that takes nothing away from Schwolow’s save, he made quite a few other important saves during the game too. I’m always happy to see him smile, even if he did concede another goal today which means the tally is up to 25 now. That draw was Freiburg’s first of the season and funnily enough it was the day’s only draw in the Bundesliga results. Out of the games I was interested in today however it was not the only draw, the only other one being the draw between Barcelona and Real Madrid. Unluckily for Barcelona there was no last minute save to enable them to take all three points. I was rooting for them and their German keeper Marc-Andre ter Stegen but to no avail.

schwolow_penalty_save_leverkusen_v_freiburg_16_17alexander-schwolow-leverkusen-v-sc-freiburg-2016-17-1 alexander-schwolow-leverkusen-v-sc-freiburg-interview-2016-17-1 alexander-schwolow-leverkusen-v-sc-freiburg-interview-2016-17-2It would have been perfect if had been either Alex or goalscorer Jannik Haberer in the calendar today but instead it was Norwegian midfielder Mats Møller-Dæhli who hasn’t played a major part in the season so far with just two late sub appearances. Nevertheless his presence in the calendar today is still fitting in a way given that Saturday night is Scandinavian night. There’s no such show on at the moment but Saturday night will always be the night of The Killing and The Bridge.

Mats Møller Dæhli - SC Freiburg 2015-16 cardThe man behind door number 3 in the Dortmund calendar was rather fitting though, with it being none other than Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang. And it’s not just because both of today’s players have three names. Getting Petersen yesterday was sadly not an omen for Freiburg’s game but it was certainly the case with Aubameyang for he scored the equaliser against Gladbach and scored their final goal making it 4-1.

20161203_172648-1And now to the real fun, the newly discovered Jogi video and pictures:

Joachim Löw Wir helfen Kinder – RTL video 24/11/16

joachim-low-wir-helfen-kinder-rtl-video-24-11-16-1joachim-low-wir-helfen-kinder-rtl-video-24-11-16-2joachim-low-wir-helfen-kinder-rtl-video-24-11-16-3joachim-low-wir-helfen-kinder-rtl-video-24-11-16-4joachim-low-wir-helfen-kinder-rtl-video-24-11-16-5 joachim-low-wir-helfen-kinder-rtl-video-24-11-16-6 joachim-low-wir-helfen-kinder-rtl-video-24-11-16-7 joachim-low-wir-helfen-kinder-rtl-video-24-11-16-8 joachim-low-wir-helfen-kinder-rtl-video-24-11-16-9

Jogi’s Late Night Phone Call: The Grey Shorts Dream

I haven’t posted anything other than pictures in a while, nothing substantial at all let alone a Löw related adventure. I’m not sure if I can get back into the habit of posting regularly, or if I even want to. In the meantime however I have at least been writing a lot of Löw adventures, though I have no intention of posting most of them online.  This one however I can’t resist posting, I started writing it during the last international break and have only just got around to finishing it. The idea originated from a dream I had in which Jogi was wearing grey shorts and a red pinkish jacket like in the hotel interview in Deutschland: Ein Sömmermarchen. The jacket that is, the shorts are another story altogether and are partly what tickled me enough to write this story to begin with.

The source of my amusement being a picture in a certain German newspaper of Jogi wearing grey shorts. Now if I had seen that picture and then had the dream that still would have been funny but what actually happened is even cooler. I had the dream about him in grey shorts the night before I saw the picture. It was a great dream but annoyingly enough it happened exactly as described in the story – except of course I dreamt about Jogi rather than Hansi, I too woke up without knowing how it ended. I can’t say the same for the dream I had the night before last though. Now that was most definitely  a dream I would have been annoyed to not know the end of. In fact I wonder if that dream had anything to do with why I suddenly decided to finish this story. The dream invovled not only Jogi but Freiburg’s recently acquired Turkish defender Çağlar Söyüncü. I won’t go into details but suffice to say they were in very close quarters. I don’t know why I had that dream or why it was him, I’ve never thought of him that way before but I am now:

caglar-soyuncuJogi’s Late Night Phone Call

Hansi may have been in the middle of a very pleasant dream himself for all he knew but thanks to Jogi he’ll never get to find out. As if Jogi being away for the week isn’t difficult enough, now he’s being woken up by Jogi calling in the middle of the night too. Of all the ways he wants to be woken up by Jogi this isn’t one of them. Though to be honest he’d rather not be woken up by him at all, that’s all Jogi’s thing, not his. At least he hopes it’s Jogi calling anyway, same as he hopes there’s a good reason for this. By that he means a good reason by Jogi’s standards, a Jogi related crisis he can deal with but not a real one. Answering the phone and trying not to sound worried Hansi asks “What do you need, Jogi?”

“Did I wake you?”

“It’s three in the morning, of course you woke me. Is something wrong?”

“No, everything’s perfect.”

Waking up a little Hansi asks “How can that be? How can things be perfect without me there?”

“It’s what I called to tell you about, but first I have to ask you something.”

“You’re not going away, are you?” asks Hansi, sounding as tired as he feels.

Wrapped up in his own excitement Jogi’s completely ignorant of how tired Hansi is and sounding as enthusiastic as Hansi does tired he replies “No, never.”

“Of course you’re not” sighs Hansi, realising there’s no way out this. Propping himself up on the pillows to help him stay awake Hansi continues “What do you need to ask?”

“Tell me what you’re wearing.”

“Jogi, I love you but I’ve got no time for your games, not at three in the morning.”

“It’s not a game; now tell me, what are you wearing?”

Giving in just to make Jogi go away faster Hansi answers “Shorts and a t-shirt.”

“What colour are the shorts?”

“Seriously?”

“Yes.”

“They’re blue.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure. I know what colour my clothes are” replies Hansi, doing his best by this point not to snap at Jogi. Were he more alert he would think of a most perfect way to wind Jogi up, like saying they were Hoffenheim blue, just like the blue his formerly beloved Oliver wears for Freiburg’s arch rivals. It’s a good thing Hansi’s not awake enough to come up with such a thing. Saying that would not be good in two ways, first of all Jogi would not respond well at being teased about Oliver and secondly it would bring his ever pedantic nature to the fore. He’d never be able to resist pointing out that as a goalkeeper Oliver wears green, not blue. And just like always Hansi would forget what they’d even been talking about to begin with. There’s no chance of that here though, Hansi’s too tired to even think of anything else. At least he thinks he is, because when he hears Jogi’s reply it certainly wakes him up a little.

“You were wearing grey ones in the dream.”

Now Hansi is definitely awake, sitting up straight in bed he asks “What dream, Jogi?”

“Ah, so now you’re interested?”

“Yes, tell me about the dream.”

“Sure you’re not too tired?” teases Jogi.

“I’m sure, now shut up and tell me.”

“Which is it, shut up or tell you?”

“Just tell me already, you know you want to.”

Jogi didn’t need any encouragement from Hansi but he did enjoy teasing him, it’s usually Hansi doing so to him, it’s nice to turn the tables every once in a while. Even more when Hansi actually wants to hear what he’s going on about. Jogi however for all his persistence in other areas gives in rather easily here, his own excitement to share his dream overtaking his fun at teasing Hansi. Getting right to the point Jogi explains “I dreamt about you at the beach, you were wearing grey shorts and a red jacket. You weren’t wearing anything underneath the jacket and you were too shy to take it off. So I had to encourage you.”

“I bet you enjoyed that.”

“Yes.”

“Did you succeed?”

“I did, eventually. First I talked you into just unzipping it a little. Once you’d undone the zip halfway down I pointed out you might as well just take it off, and you did.”

“What happened next?”

“No idea, I woke up.”

“Jogi, you cannot do that to me” groans Hansi in complaint. He’d been annoyed about being woken up but now he doesn’t care about that, he just wants to know the rest of the dream. He really hopes Jogi’s just teasing him here and he asks just that, saying “You’re kidding, right?”

“No, I woke up. I don’t know what happened.”

“You need to tell me, you did not just wake me up at three in the morning for nothing.”

“Go back to sleep, have a dream of your own.”

“No, you woke me up, finish the story.”

“Want me to tell you what I think would have happened, what I would have liked to do?”

“Yes, tell me.”

“We could have some fun on the beach; you could take my shirt off too. Then, who knows, maybe the shorts could have disappeared as well.”

“Really, is this a private beach?”

“You were the only person in my dream.”

“Jogi, there could have been a crowd of people there and you wouldn’t have noticed, in real life or a dream. When you get focused on something you want nothing else exists.”

“Nothing but you, Hansi. I only ever have eyes for you.”

“You’re such a liar.”

“No I’m not.”

“You are, when we watch Freiburg play you’ve only got eyes for Nils Petersen. I might as well not exist then.”

“Not true, who’s hand am I holding?”

“Mine, that’s true. But if he were sitting next to you then you’d hold his hand too.”

“Don’t bring Nils into this.”

“Is Jogi getting defensive over his little Freiburger?”

“First of all Nils isn’t little, second of all I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Then how did you mean it?”

“I can’t think of Nils that way, he’s too young.”

“So if he weren’t then you’d happily think of him that way.”

“No, stop being a pedant, Hansi. That’s my job.”

“It’s ok; you can like him if you want. He can be on your list.”

“What list?”

“Some people have a list of people they could sleep with if they were allowed.”

“Do you have a list?”

“No, but I bet I know who’d be on your list.”

“You sure about that?”

“I know the first two names anyway, it would be Petersen and Schwolow, I know it would. They’ve both got blonde hair and blue eyes, and they’re handsome like me.”

Wanting to tease Hansi back Jogi retorts playfully “Are you sure you’re as handsome as they are? Schwolow’s pretty cute you know, I’m not sure you’re as cute as he is.”

Pretending to be offended and doing his best to sound hurt Hansi complains “Hey, that’s not nice.”

“You brought up the list, don’t tell me I can think about other men then act hurt when I do.”

“My shoulders are bigger and stronger than his; he won’t be able to carry you off to bed like I can.”

“Maybe not, but he’s a goalkeeper, Hansi. And you know what they say about goalkeepers.”

“What do they say?”

“They have magic hands.”

“Before you said I did.”

“You do, but not like a goalkeeper does.”

“So he’s on your list then?”

“No, I don’t need a list, I have you.”

“That’s sweet.”

“What about you, who would be on your list?” enquires Jogi, but before he can give Hansi a chance to answer he does so himself, saying “I wonder who you would like; I know your type, tall, dark and handsome, like me.”

“Jogi, you’re so much more than tall, dark and handsome. You could find a lot of men who meet that description, but none of them would have your special brand of strangeness, none of them would be as intense and loveably odd as you are.”

“So you don’t have a list either then?”

“No, I don’t need one either.”

“I couldn’t find anyone like you either, no-one else could be as patient with me as you are.”

“What about my hands, are they magic enough are do you need a goalkeeper as a backup?”

“No, your hands are enough. I wish you and your hands were here now.”

“Don’t you always wish that?”

“Yes, but now more than ever.”

“Go back to sleep, maybe I’ll come to you in a dream.” Thinking back over what Jogi said earlier Hansi realises what he should have done then, the question he should have asked right away. Jogi asked what he’s wearing and he failed to do the same, a mistake which most definitely needs to be corrected. Doing just that Hansi asks “Jogi, what are you wearing?”

“Navy blue shorts.”

“Just the shorts?” asks Hansi pointlessly, knowing full well Jogi says exactly what he means.

“Yes.”

“Oh, I wish you hadn’t said that. Just once I wish you lied to me.”

“I don’t lie to you, I always tell you the truth. It’s one of the things I love most about you, that you never ask me to lie or pretend.”

“I can’t believe I have to get back to sleep with these thoughts in my head, I would say I’d dream about you too but I’m not sure I can get back to sleep.”

“You will, just think of me and you’ll fall asleep eventually.”

“I don’t know, tell me about what you want to dream about. Put some tempting thoughts in my head.”

“I want you to be a big strong Viking who carries me off in his rowboat. A very handsome, rugged Viking with long blonde hair and striking blue eyes, just like you.”

“Vikings now, really? Are we done with the winter solider then?”

“No, I still like him. Actually he’d make a good Viking, wouldn’t he? He’s got the right look anyway.”

“Jogi, it’s gone three in the morning. We’re not discussing the winter soldier.”

“No, we’re not. I told you what I’d like to dream. So go dream it.”

“I really wish you were here next to me.”

“I know, just two more days and you’ll get what you want.”

“It’s too long to wait, I hate being patient.”

“Spend those two days thinking of all the fun we’ll have. Think about it, you’ll be well prepared at least. You know I hate people who aren’t properly prepared for anything.”

“You don’t need to tell me to do that, I’ll be thinking of you anyway. I’m always thinking of you.”

“Go to sleep now, and think of me there. Good night, Hansi.”

“Good night, Jogi. And stay out of trouble.”

Instead of finishing the conversation as he usually does and repeating the ever familiar phrase Jogi changes it slightly, adding a few extra words when he replies “Stay out of trouble, Hansi, for now anyway.”

2.Bundesliga MD33: SC Freiburg v 1.FC Heidenheim

The previous weekend Freiburg secured promotion when they defeated Paderborn 2-1 and with the 2- 0 win over Heidenheim they sealed their position in first place. They not only sealed their return to the Bundesliga but did so in pole position, ahead of RB Leipzig. It was perfect in a sense, not least because the scorer of both goals was former Heidenheim player Florian Niederlechner. The goals were made even more perfect by the fact they were both made and scored by two jokers, Lucas Hufnagel and of course Niederlechner. Not a great game to watch by any measure but that doesn’t matter, not when what happened afterwards was so much fun.

SC Freiburg v 1.FC Heidenheim 2015-16 – 1st & 2nd half

RB Leipzig confirmed their inevitable promotion with a 2-0 defeat of KSC, being gifted a second goal after an error by KSC’s keeper. If 1.FCN hadn’t screwed up they could have taken advantage of RBL’s poor run of results in recent weeks, it could be them in second place. But they didn’t and they have to content themselves with third place which is guaranteed at least since they have an eight point lead on St Pauli. With one match-day to go everything is decided at the top of the table, all but one thing that is. Freiburg have won the league, they’re the best team offensive wise in the league and have the best home and away record. Yet there’s one thing they don’t have, it’s not Nils Petersen who’s the current league top-scorer because he didn’t score against Heidenheim and Simon Terrode did against Braunschweig. In order to be crowned top-scorer Petersen needs to score two goals against Union Berlin and for Terrode not to score against Heidenheim. Fingers crossed for Petersen, it’s already been a great season but him being crowned top scorer would make it just that little bit more perfect.

Meanwhile at the foot of the table things went from bad to worse for Paderborn after they lost 1-0 to 1860 München and Duisburg managed to salvage a point at Sandhausen. Going into the final day of the season Paderborn have the difficult task of getting at least a point from third placed 1.FCN, I suppose they can take some hope from the fact their opponents need absolutely nothing from the game. As they can from the fact Frankfurt who they need to lose face 1860. I would put good money on them beating Frankfurt. The situation at the foot of the table offers no salvation for any of the bottom three. The best all of them can hope for is the play-off place. None of them can achieve automatic safety, not realistically. In theory Duisburg could but only in theory, because they would have to not only beat RB Leipzig but score seven goals against them whilst conceding none and counting on Fortuna Düsseldorf to lose to Eintracht Braunschweig. Paderborn, Frankfurt and Duisburg can all win yet still not be safe. If that were to happen the table would stay exactly as it is, with Paderborn in 18th, Frankfurt in 17th and Duisburg in 16th.

2.Bundesliga table MD33 2015-16 1 2.Bundesliga table MD33 2015-16 2Highlights:

SC Freiburg v 1.FC Heidenheim

1 FC Nürnberg v St Pauli

RB Leipzig v KSC

Bochum v Eintracht Braunschweig

Pictures and GIFs from Freiburg’s game:

Florian_Niederlechner_first_goal_SC_Freiburg_v_1_FC_HeidenheimFlorian_Niederlechner_s_second_goal_SC_Freiburg_v_1_FC_HeidenheimChristian_Streich_celebrating_promotion_2015_16Alexander Schwolow – SC Freiburg v Heidenheim 1 Mensur Mujzda – SC Freiburg v Heidenheim 1 Mensur Mujzda – SC Freiburg v Heidenheim 2 Maximilian Philipp – SC Freiburg v Heidenheim 1 Christian Günter – SC Freiburg v Heidenheim 1 Alexander Schwolow – SC Freiburg v Heidenheim 2 Marc-Oliver Kempf – SC Freiburg v Heidenheim 1 Nicolas Höfler & Maximilian Philipp – SC Freiburg v Heidenheim Vincenzo Grifo – SC Freiburg v Heidenheim 1 Alexander Schwolow – SC Freiburg v Heidenheim 3 Christian Günter – SC Freiburg v Heidenheim 2 Alexander Schwolow – SC Freiburg v Heidenheim 4 Alexander Schwolow – SC Freiburg v Heidenheim 5Alexander Schwolow – SC Freiburg v Heidenheim 6 Mensur Mujzda – SC Freiburg v Heidenheim 3 Nils Petersen – SC Freiburg v Heidenehim 1 Maximilian Philipp – SC Freiburg v Heidenheim 2Florian Niederlechner – SC Freiburg v Heidenheim 1Alexander Schwolow – SC Freiburg v Heidenheim 7Nils Petersen – SC Freiburg v Heidenehim 2 Nils Petersen – SC Freiburg v Heidenehim 3 Vegar Hedenstad – SC Freiburg v Heidenheim 1 Lucas Hufnagel - SC Freiburg v Heidenheim 1 Lucas Hufnagel - SC Freiburg v Heidenheim 2 Florian Niederlechner – SC Freiburg v Heidenheim 2Florian Niederlechner – SC Freiburg v Heidenheim 3 Nils Petersen & Florian Niederlechner - SC Freiburg v Heidenheim Petersen, Niederlechner & Günter – SC Freiburg v Heidenheim 1 Petersen, Niederlechner & Günter – SC Freiburg v Heidenheim 2 Florian Niederlechner – SC Freiburg v Heidenheim 4 Lucas Hufnagel - SC Freiburg v Heidenheim 3Florian Niederlechner – SC Freiburg v Heidenheim 5 Florian Niederlechner – SC Freiburg v Heidenheim 6 Florian Niederlechner & Christian Günter – SC Freiburg v Heidenheim 1 Vincenzo Grifo & Florian Niederlechner – SC Freiburg v Heidenheim 1 Vincenzo Grifo & Florian Niederlechner – SC Freiburg v Heidenheim 2 Vincenzo Grifo & Florian Niederlechner – SC Freiburg v Heidenheim 3 Vincenzo Grifo & Florian Niederlechner – SC Freiburg v Heidenheim 4 Florian Niederlechner – SC Freiburg v Heidenheim 7 Florian Niederlechner – SC Freiburg v Heidenheim 8 Christian Streich & Alexander Schwolow – SC Freiburg v Heidenheim 1 Florian Niederlechner – SC Freiburg v Heidenheim 9

SC Freiburg - Meister der 2.Bundesliga 2015-16 1SC Freiburg - Meister der 2.Bundesliga 2015-16 2SC Freiburg - Meister der 2.Bundesliga 2015-16 3SC Freiburg - Meister der 2.Bundesliga 2015-16 4SC Freiburg - Meister der 2.Bundesliga 2015-16 5SC Freiburg - Meister der 2.Bundesliga 2015-16 6 SC Freiburg - Meister der 2.Bundesliga 2015-16 7 SC Freiburg - Meister der 2.Bundesliga 2015-16 8 SC Freiburg - Meister der 2.Bundesliga 2015-16 9 SC Freiburg - Meister der 2.Bundesliga 2015-16 - Christian Streich & Marc-Oliver Kempf SC Freiburg - Meister der 2.Bundesliga 2015-16 10 SC Freiburg - Meister der 2.Bundesliga 2015-16 - Christian Streich SC Freiburg - Meister der 2.Bundesliga 2015-16 11 SC Freiburg - Meister der 2.Bundesliga 2015-16 - Alexander Schwolow