Whether Grifo scored a goal today or not he would have been the first thing to come to mind when I saw this prompt. This is the definition of the word I got from the dictionary – Someone or something that is graceful moves in a smooth and controlled way which is attractive to watch. It fits him perfectly, he really is a dream to watch and today was no exception. In an overly physical game against Eintracht Frankfurt he was not only the most entertaining player to watch but the best one too. That goal was his first ever Bundesliga goal and I could not be happier for him. Not only did he score the decisive goal but it was special in another way too, he just helped create a club record. For the first time ever Freiburg have won nine home games in a row. In fact they’ve won all three of their home games so far, along with beating Eintracht Frankfurt 1-0 they beat Gladbach 3-1 and HSV 1-0. There was one amusing moment after the final whistle which I can’t not mention. Christian Streich may not have moved particularly gracefully when he went off in search of Nils Petersen to celebrate with him but that doesn’t matter. You can see how happy he is and that’s all that counts. He’s definitely the kind of person who goes his own way, who marches to his own beat. But then that’s precisely why I’m so fond of him:
I just wish I could move like Grifo does, he skips around defenders like they aren’t even there. Unfortunately I have more in common with Thomas Mūller in that regard. Clumsy and awkward is more how I move. Though of course Müller is graceful in his own strange little way, he doesn’t look it most of the time but he really is. He’s effective anyway, even if he looks like he doesn’t know what he’s doing. The DFB summed up his style perfectly in a tweet, describing him as a “swan on ice skates.” On the subject of Bayern I have to include this GIF, it’s only loosely connected to the topic at hand but I couldn’t resist. It’s an odd day when you see Manuel Neuer make a mistake or show some poor decision making. I have no clue what he was doing, none whatsoever. Oliver Baumann is usually the one who provides me with my funny goalkeeper moments of the week but this time it’s Neuer’s turn:
There is of course another way in which a person can be graceful, in the sense of being polite and pleasant towards other people, in particular in awkward or difficult situations. It’s not always easy to remain polite and keep one’s cool when you feel like someone is deliberately trying to get a reaction from you, as has been the case today. But I’m doing my very best to do just that, to keep calm and not give them the reaction they want. Getting angry would be letting them win and I’ve gotten angry far too many times this week already. Whether it’s randoms on the internet or people in real life I’m determined not to get angry and end up ranting and raving. Getting angry isn’t constructive and I just end up feeling more annoyed with myself afterwards.
I talked about a similar matter with someone a few weeks ago, about arguing with people online and attempting to educate ignorant people. Combating ignorance is always a good thing but not when it drives you crazy in the process. Their point was you’re angry, ok so what are you going to do about it. Other than arguing with people whose views you’re never going to change. I didn’t agree with them at the time but now I can see their point. I get all worked up over things I can’t even change. It’s like they’ve won twice, they’re spreading igorance about autism and disability and they’ve gotten you angry and all bent out of shape about it. So angry that you can’t even think straight, let alone form a coherent argument. So angry that you’re still ranting about it days after it happened. At some point you need to step back and say I’m not getting involved with this. Which I know is easier said than done. Letting go of things is never easy but I need to learn how to do that, in a lot of different ways.
I have to say it’s very ironic, autistic people are often accused of not caring or thinking of what other people feel and think. It feels like I do nothing but that, maybe not in the way I’m meant to but I most definitely do care about what other people think. In fact I think I spend too much time thinking about such things. Right now I’m not wasting any time on doing so. I’m doing what I need and nothing more, I’m not worried about what anyone else thinks or if I’m being strange again. A so called normal person watches their favourite film for like the twentieth time or more it’s just because they really love the film and it’s their favourite. An autistic person does it and they’re “engaging in repetitive and obsessive behaviours.” I think sometimes when it comes to autism people spend so much time seeing it as something seperate from people they forget that autistic people are just that, people. A human being with thoughts and feelings just like them. You read the way some parents talk about their kids and it’s like they think they needed to be taught to be a person. As if somehow they weren’t before. They only see them as a person now they can make eye contact and engage socially the way they want them to. Someone is not less of a person if they can’t learn how to do that but it feels like that’s what such people are implying. And that’s in danger of becoming a rant, which I’m not meant to do.
Rather than getting angry all over again I’m going to resume watching Inglourious Basterds. Watching it wasn’t on my schedule, I didn’t know it was on till a few moments before it started. But I’m doing so anyway and look at that, I’m being flexible about something. If you believe everything you read about autism I’m not supposed to be able to do that. But then if you believe everything you hear or read about autistic people we’re not meant to be capable of being friendly, happy or affectionate either. Nor are we meant to have a sense of humour. I actually read someone asking how someone else’s child could possibly have autism because they were happy, smiling and said hello to them. Just what they think autistic people are like I don’t know. That encounter by itself is an excellent argument for why I shouldn’t waste my time or energy interacting with such people. When that’s the level of ignorance you’re dealing with it’s just not worh it.