How is the year shaping up for you so far? Have your predictions come true, or did you have to face a curve ball or two?
Seeing as how my plan for this year was in the words of August “not to have a plan” I don’t really have any predictions to be right about. In a way I guess that means everything is a curve ball in a sense, though some things are more of a surprise than others. Like my recent interest in the winter soldier. If anyone had told me I would get anything close to a new obsession this year I wouldn’t have believed them at all. Especially if they predicted me getting a film related interest. Whilst it’s a surprise it’s not new. CA:TWS was part of a previous interest, my thankfully short lived fascination with Thomas Kretschmann. I wonder if there’s a reason for that, maybe I’ve run out of potential interests and that’s why. Or maybe it has nothing to do with it, perhaps it’s like Lester in The Wire says “and all the pieces matter.” Maybe I had to go through the Kretschmann fascination in order to get to Bucky. If that’s the case then I have no complaints.
As for how the year is shaping up, I don’t really know. I’m trying not to think too much about it. I’m just trying to write as much as I can and to have some fun. I’m not all keen on the prospect of reflecting on things anyway but even if I were today would not be a good day for it. For the first time all season Freiburg have lost two games in a row. Losing to Bochum was unpleasant but not entirely unpalatable, losing to Fortuna Düsseldorf on the other hand, that really smarts. Both Frantz and Petersen are back from injury but it wasn’t enough. Nor was Grifo’s equaliser in the form of a penalty. Shame they lost, it ruined what was otherwise a very touching moment. Petersen takes all of Freiburg’s penalties but he didn’t start, leaving Grifo to take it. After scoring he ran to the touchline in order to celebrate with Petersen:
That defeat certainly puts a damper on an otherwise fairly good weekend. A Hansi video on Friday and a Jogi one on Saturday, plus Köln’s exciting 3-1 win over Eintracht Frankfurt and to top it off winning a very rare signed Freiburg picture of Jogi. It’s not a good time for Freiburg to lose, they could have taken advantage of RB Leipzig losing yesterday and cut the gap between them to three points. If Nürnberg beat Bochum tomorrow, they’ll move into second place. It’s odd, I have to root for Bochum to win which is a very strange feeling.
Despite that I’m trying not to despair. I planned on posting this today anyhow but now I need to, I need something to brighten up the rest of the day. It’s part of a longer story which I’m not sure I want to post, but this part I most definitely do want to. On the subject of predictions, if I had made any I would never have made this one. That I would not only end up writing about the winter soldier but bringing him into a Jogi story. It’s probably the most adventurous one I’ve written so far, the story in question is about their first weekend away together. But I’ve not even got to that part, I’m having a lot of fun dragging it out. As it turns out there’s plenty of fun to be had before even getting to the main event.
“Do I make you nervous?”
“No, not anymore.”
“When did I stop making you nervous?”
“At work, never. Because I was always worried about you working it out.”
“A few months after you moved in, it took a while to get used to you being here.”
“So I don’t make you nervous anymore?”
“No, you’re the one who stops me from feeling nervous around other people. Just like you did at work, I’m always safe when Hansi’s there.”
“I’m your protector, right?”
“Right. You’re my winter solider.”
“I heard you the first time, what is that?”
“If you don’t know I’m not telling you.”
“Come on, tell me. Please.”
“You protect me; you keep me out of trouble.”
“Same as I’ve always done. So this winter soldier of yours, he protects people too?”
“Sort of. But Hansi, he’s not mine though sometimes I think I’d like him to be.”
“I thought only I belonged to you.”
“You haven’t seen the winter soldier; you might want him to belong to you too.”
“I don’t think so, you’re enough for me. Is there anyone else you like that I should know about?”
“Not really, just Thor.”
“The Norse god, I’m expected to compete with a god?”
“No, not the Norse god. Asgardian Thor.”
“Ok, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t you pay attention when you watch films with me?”
“Honestly, no. It’s a little hard to concentrate.”
“Because of you” replies Hansi incredulously, unable to work out if Jogi is toying with him or not. The answer is of course obvious. How can Hansi focus on a film when Jogi is lying all curled up next to him, even worse is knowing that were he to do anything Jogi would push his hands away. Knowing full well how distracting Hansi’s hands can be he won’t let him have any fun. Jogi’s next question makes it clear he has no clue what Hansi’s talking about.
“What do you think about then?”
“About you, all the things I’d like to do you.”
“Are you always thinking about that?”
“Not always, but usually when I’m close to you.”
“Are you thinking those things when we’re around other people?”
“You mean like at work or at matches?”
“At work I don’t allow myself to think of you because I’d never get anything done. At matches, yes I let myself dream about you.”
“What do you dream about?”
“About taking you home and undressing you. It’s kind of your own fault.”
“How is it my fault?”
Hansi takes a minute before answering, thinking carefully about how to phrase himself. What he’s really thinking about he’s not sure he wants to say, maybe telling Jogi how distracting he finds his choice of trousers is not the best thing to do. But that’s exactly what Hansi would love to tell Jogi, that he loves his choice of attire, all of it. He’d love to tell him that he loves his suits and his perfectly fitting trousers. He especially loves thinking of how smooth the fabric is, of working his way up Jogi’s leg and then helping him out of them. When he really misses Jogi he likes to think about every last little detail. Of undoing Jogi’s belt and un-tucking his shirt. And then finally doing what makes him happiest of all, so happy that he forgets everything else exists. Before actually beginning to undress him Hansi likes to remind himself just how soft Jogi’s skin is. When he loosens Jogi’s trousers he then likes to let his hand come to rest there for just a moment. It reminds him of all the times they’re out and he has to make do with getting close to Jogi in any way he can.
Fresh in his mind is the dinner they were at a few weeks ago and the creative way he’d made his own entertainment. Bored and daydreaming of Jogi he’d put his hand under the table and slightly un-tucking his shirt he’d let his hand come to rest there just above his belt. It’s not where he’d like to have his hand but if he went any lower then Jogi wouldn’t be able to contain himself and he if moved his hand further upwards it would be too noticeable. So Hansi had to content himself with resting his hand on Jogi’s stomach, it took everything he had to keep his hand still and to refrain from softly moving his fingers across Jogi’s skin. Eventually he’d been unable to resist and he’d allowed himself the pleasure of slightly moving his fingers across Jogi’s unbelievably soft skin. As well has having his own enjoyment in mind part of Hansi just wanted to see how Jogi would react, to see if he could contain himself and prevent himself from showing his pleasure in a way which he really shouldn’t do in front of other people. Somehow Jogi did manage to prevent such a thing and he smiled knowingly at Hansi, as if he knew what he was getting at and expecting. Whilst Jogi remained silent he could do nothing about the deep breath he took. Hansi didn’t need to move his hand further upwards to feel just how deep a breath Jogi took. He could not fail to notice.
Here and now however he notices nothing, not least the fact Jogi’s annoyed with him and extremely impatient to get the answer to his question. Moving his hand upwards and letting it come to rest on Hansi’s chest Jogi asks “Is this the only way I can get you attention?”
“I’m sorry, Jogi. I just got lost in thought.”
“What’s more important than answering me?”
“I was thinking about you, about your trousers.”
“What about them?”
“Put it like this way, my life would be a lot easier if you dressed like you did when you were in charge of Stuttgart, if you wore those absurdly ill fitting baggy trousers you wore then.”
“I managed to spend eight years by your side and not get distracted by such things. Surely you can control yourself.”
“I’m trying, Jogi. It’s not easy; do you have any idea how delectable you are?”
“No, but I know how tempting you were and still are. I managed not to think about your thighs, your shoulders and the fact I wished your shirt didn’t fit you quite so well. I managed not to take too long looking at you when you got up and stood in front of me. I kept all those thoughts for later, for when I was alone in my room.”
Teasingly Hansi quips “So that’s why you liked to be alone after games.”
“What? No, I didn’t mean it like that” replies a somewhat embarrassed Jogi.
“Relax, I was just kidding. I’m sure you were hard at work.”
“Is that another joke?” asks a still suspicious Jogi.
“No, it wasn’t a joke” answers Hansi not entirely truthfully.
“So it’s my fault I’m so distracting because I dress too well?”
“Something like that.”
“Well you can blame Klinsi and Oliver for that.”
“You mean I’ve got them to thank.”
“But it distracts you.”
“Yes, but I never said it was a bad thing. If I’m going to be distracted by something I’d want it to be you. Do you daydream about me or do you think about your winter solider?”
“I think about you too and him.”
“What’s so special about him?”
“His hair, it’s so long and he looks so intense. His eyes are just so… I don’t know how to put it.”
Feeling the deep breath Jogi took and the way he sighed as his sentence tailed off Hansi can’t help but tease him saying “I thought I was the only one who could make you do that.”
Picking up on the teasing tone of Hansi’s words Jogi playfully replies “Don’t worry, Hansi. I’m sure there’s plenty of things you can do. Your hair may not be as long as his but you’re perfect the way you are.”
“We’re going to have fun tomorrow, you know that?”
“I know. Goodnight Hansi.”
“Stay out of trouble Jogi.”
Altering his usual answer a little Jogi replies “I won’t be able to do that tomorrow night.”