Today was my first football free Friday, well sort of. There was football on, just not the Bundesliga. First a friendly, Nils Petersen’s old team Energie Cottbus played Wolfsburg. And there’s FA Cup action with Liverpool visiting Exeter City. It’s not a day which has gone particularly well, I had it all worked out in my head. Seeing an early showing of The Hateful Eight so I could be back for the friendly. But the universe had other ideas. Distribution problems mean that the film is not showing at my regular cinema, the one I have a loyalty card for. In order to see it today not only would I have needed to fork out extra cash for a ticket but would have gone to a cinema I’ve never been to before. Not only that but by myself since there was no-one available to take me.
I’ve spent the better part of the past two days trying to be ok with the situation. Either trying to convince myself into going to the new place or to make my peace with not seeing it just yet. I thought I was close to making some kind of peace with it. This morning’s events proved otherwise, I got up to set up a recording of a game to watch later and then went back to bed. I guess it was easier to deal with if I didn’t have to fill the time, if I just avoided it all together.
I’ve been trying for a while to get used to unexpected changes, working on accepting that things don’t always go as you want them to. In all honesty it’s not going particularly well. Other people try to help and they mean well, they really do. Like the person who tried to explain the layout of the new cinema to me. But I had to make them stop, it was just too much information and didn’t prove to be particularly helpful. At least I asked them to stop without snapping at them. I’m bothered by the whole thing but I’ve not taken it out on anyone else or taking it out on the people who weren’t available for today. That’s a good thing. Though I suppose it helps that I’m trying wherever possible to avoid other people completely. I just don’t think I can handle any conversation that’s not absolutely necessary. It’s really thrown me into a tailspin. I know things can and do change without warning, I remind myself of this fact a lot. I just never thought a Tarantino film would be the source of the problem.
I just have to keep reminding myself that I will get to see it at least. Just not on the day I had planned. In doing this I’m borrowing something Hansi said, he was talking about tactics but the principle is the same. His point essentially was the that the system, the approach to the game does not change, the principles which the system is founded upon are unalterable. What can, does and should change is what he calls the playing concept. That’s what changes from match to match, specific plans which are drawn up for each opponents. You don’t approach each opponent in the same way because they don’t play the same way, it won’t work. Point is the system does not change, I will get to see the film. I just have to accept the tactical alteration, the day and the time changing and who I see it with is what I need to accept. If you want to win you have to adapt to the situation at hand. Which is of course easier said than done. I know I get fixed on things happening a certain way, I know it’s a problem. I just never thought it would need to be solved in this context. There are things you think you can count on. Just goes to show you should always be prepared for the possibility of things not going your way, you should always have a back-up plan.
I like the idea of using what Hansi was talking about in dealing with things like this, and not just because it’s Hansi related, I really think it could be helpful. It hasn’t changed how I feel about it today, I’m not that far off the nervous flapping wreck I was yesterday. But at least I’m not obsessing over it so much. I still feel unsettled but there’s room in my mind for other thoughts, it’s a start. I talked a lot about this kind of thing with the psychologist I talked to a while back, we talked about lots of different ideas to help with situations which make me anxious and about dealing with change. But none of them ever stuck. They all sounded like good ideas when we came up with them but they didn’t stick. I think for that to happen they have to be connected with a special interest in some way. That’s the case here so maybe this one will stick, it’s worth a shot at least.
There is however a silver lining to today, because whilst I may not have gotten much sleep last night I did have a Jogi related dream. I have little clue of what it was about, something to do with a match which he was unhappy about, but I’ll take it. Especially seeing as how it was on the seventh as well.