Jogi & Hansi’s Christmas Deliberations

Resuming his quest from last year Hansi will stop at nothing to convince Jogi to wear a Santa hat. So far nothing was working, not even the offer of special scarf time. Hansi however is not giving up. He’s sure his latest plan will work, that Jogi won’t be able to say no to the Freiburg hat he’s gotten him. When would Jogi ever say no to something with the Freiburg badge on it, this Hansi is sure will work. Ever since he’d seen the schedule for the final games before Christmas Hansi had worked it all out in his head. It was too perfect to miss, last Christmas it was Jogi’s team that H96 were playing and now it’s his. This time round it will be perfect since Jogi will actually be at home and he’s certain not to be disappointed. Hansi however sensibly keeps his thoughts in the matter to himself, obviously they’ll be watching the game but bringing the matter up would not be a good idea. Hansi has no wish to listen to yet another rant on the subject. The game may have been a year ago but that won’t stop Jogi from going on about it. The situation is made even more perfect by the fact Freiburg play on Sunday and in a delicious twist of irony they’re playing the other Munich, 1860 at home.

This is the main part of Hansi’s plan, of going to the game together and convincing Jogi to wear the hat. Last year he’d gone by himself to Freiburg’s game, he’d had no choice since Jogi wasn’t at home. Well he didn’t have to go to the game, indeed it’s not how Hansi would have chosen to spend a cold Sunday afternoon, watching two teams slug it out in the beginnings of a relegation battle. But Jogi had asked him to go, he couldn’t so he wanted Hansi to be there for him, for his team. Jogi had asked in such a way that Hansi just couldn’t say no, though truth is he rarely could say no to him anyway regardless of how he asked any question.

The same cannot be said for Hansi, he has to work a little harder to get what he wants. Though he gets the feeling that on this occasion Jogi may just be toying with him, that he has every intention of giving him what he wants, he’s just making him work for it. A fact which becomes clear when Hansi makes his latest attempt.
“Jogi, wear the hat for me, please.”
“No way elf lord, you can wear what you want but I’m not wearing that stupid hat, no matter what you offer.”
Jogi said no but the way he did gave Hansi a completely different answer, as does the look in his eye. The look he always gets when he calls Hansi elf lord. Hansi knows he’s onto something now.
“Are you sure about that, are you sure there’s nothing I can offer that would get you to change your mind?”
“I don’t know, let’s see. Just why are you so keen to get me to wear this hat anyway, you’re normally trying to get me out of clothes, not into them.”

Now Hansi is sure he’s on to something and that Jogi is most definitely toying with him. Question is what his game is and just what does Hansi have to offer to get what he wants. One thing is for sure Hansi does not intend to go along with this; he knows how Jogi expects him to react so he does the opposite, taking the conversation in a completely different direction. Hansi doesn’t know it yet but he’s still giving Jogi exactly what he wants. Somehow Jogi always ends up getting what he wants. Changing the subject Hansi asks “Tell me, Jogi, what do you want for Christmas?”

“You’re giving up, just like that?”
“Maybe, will you tell me?”
“Why won’t you tell me?”
“You already know.”
“Yes but other than Freiburg….”
Hansi finds himself unable to finish his sentence with Jogi physically preventing him from doing so. Before he can remove Jogi’s hand he gets a very important order from Jogi,
“Hans-Dieter, I’m not saying it out loud and neither are you. Do not curse them, do not do that.”
Removing Jogi’s hand Hansi replies “You don’t believe in curses and superstitions.”
“When it comes to Freiburg and to this season I do.”
“So there’s nothing you want that I can get you?”
“No. I already have what I want. You belong to me, that’s all I ever wanted.”
“Jogi, I always belonged to you. I can’t even get you a new scarf?”
“You’re not getting me a scarf, not after last time.”
“That was just because you lost our bet. I’ll get you one you like this time.”
“I don’t think so.”

Having to convince Jogi to wear the hat was one thing but getting him to come round about the scarf is another thing all together. And a most odd task at that. It’s all very strange indeed, the idea of having to convince Jogi to accept the gift of a scarf. Not knowing what else to do Hansi falls back on his tried and trusted back-up plan. Figuring he’s going to need more than just his elf lord smile here Hansi takes an altogether more proactive approach. Much to his surprise however it does not initially have the desired effect.
Quickly unbuttoning Jogi’s shirt Hansi is about to make his next move when he finds his progress halted.

“Hansi, I don’t think you should undress me now. I’m not going to be able to focus if…”
Ignoring him Hansi takes his hand back and places it in a most pleasing place.
“If what Jogi?” replies Hansi teasingly.
“If you put your hand there” answers a very satisfied sounding Jogi.
“Don’t you want Hansi’s hands to be happy?”
“I want all of Hansi to be happy.”
“That can be arranged.”
“Not until we’re done talking.”

Hearing Jogi’s reply causes Hansi to stop what he’s doing and to move back so he can see the look on Jogi’s face. He wants to make sure Jogi’s not kidding, to his disappointment Jogi seems to be serious. Hansi’s not giving up so easily though, he has one final ace up his sleeve. One which cannot fail to work.
“Jogi, what if I were to get you some very special scarves, a pair you can use to remind me once and for all that I belong to you. How about that?”
“I get to be the scarf lord this Christmas?”
“My sweet devilish little Jogi, you can be the scarf lord whenever the hell you want. Any day of the week, anytime of the year.”
“You know there is something else I want.”
“Tell me.”
“But it’s not something you can buy.”
“Tell me anyway.”
“I want Bayern to win their last game before Christmas.”
“Why do you care about that?”
“The same reason I don’t want you wearing the same hat you wore last year. You wore that hat last Christmas and Freiburg only drew, very unluckily so.”
“Of course, you don’t care about Bayern winning. You just want revenge.”
“I’m sure you’ll get what you want but I can’t guarantee it’ll happen.”
“I know, just promise me you won’t wear the same hat.”
“I won’t, not as long as you promise to wear yours.”
“Ok, deal.”
“Really, just like that. It’s that easy?”
“Yes, what did you expect?”
“I thought you were going to make me work harder for it, I thought you had one of your master plans” replies a somewhat disappointed sounding Hansi.
“No, I just wanted to make sure you weren’t going to wear that hat again.”
“You were always going to say yes, weren’t you?”
“I was, but only if you agreed not to wear the same hat. What are you disappointed about?”
“That I didn’t get to finish undressing you.”
“There’ll be plenty of time for that. You’ll have me to yourself all Christmas. Just think of it, me, you, the cabin, under blankets in front of the fire. What more could my little Hansi want?”
“Actually I had something else in mind.”
“I don’t like the sound of this.”
“Jogi, I know you like going to the cabin but it’d be nice to go somewhere else, somewhere warmer.”
“I don’t think so.”
“Think of how much fun it’ll be. If we go to the cabin I’ll have to get you out of all those layers but if we go somewhere warm then you’ll be wearing hardly anything at all.”
“Why so impatient, I thought you liked undressing me.”
“I do, I just like what comes afterwards even more.”
“Good things come to those who wait, good build-up play is important, you know that.”
“Can we have one conversation without you bringing football into it?”
“Who said I was talking about football?”
Not giving Hansi any chance to enjoy what he just said Jogi continues “I don’t want any surprises Hansi.”
“This isn’t a surprise, that’s why we’re talking about it now.”
“Ok, so I don’t want any more surprises.”
“Just two more, please. I have two presents for you which I know you’re going to love.”
“Hansi, I said….”
Jogi stops, not remembering the rest of his sentence or what he’s unhappy with. Just this minute neither of those things is important. Lost in Hansi’s smile, that special elf lord smile of his which is reserved for him and him alone Jogi can’t think of anything, let alone get any of his words back. Noticing this Hansi takes hold of his hand and asks “What’s the rest of that sentence?”
“Nothing, it doesn’t matter” comes the reply from a distracted sounding Jogi.
“I know you; I know you were just about to complain about something.”
“I was but it doesn’t matter now.”
“Why doesn’t it matter?”
“Because when you smile like that nothing does, nothing other than you matters.”
“Does that mean you’ll agree to go somewhere else for Christmas?”
“That smile of yours will get you almost anything.”
“But not this?”
“I like going to the cabin, it’s nice and peaceful up there. I don’t get why you want to change our plans.”
“Change can be good sometimes.”
“This is important to you?”
“If it wasn’t I wouldn’t be asking. I’m not asking you to give up all your Christmas plans for me, just to compromise a little. Will you do that for your elf lord Hansi?”
“Depends, what does my elf lord have in mind?”
“We can both get what we want, we can go the cabin first so you have your winter fun then we can go somewhere warm.”
“This is all because you’re too impatient to undress me.”
“I’m not going to deny that’s true but it’s not what this is about.”
“You don’t need to lie to me.”
Thinking about how Jogi stopped him from undressing him a short while ago it crosses Hansi’s mind that finishing the job would be a lot of fun and would distract Jogi from all of this. Trying his luck he says “Forget about all of that, how about you let me finish undressing you now.”
In a playful mood Jogi slowly does up the buttons Hansi undid earlier and replies “No, you can wait. I think you need to learn some patience. You don’t get to unwrap your presents before Christmas now, do you?”

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