The E-mail Fear/Small Steps

In spite of everything this Sunday did go better than last week. True Freiburg lost to St Pauli (last Sunday they beat Greuther Fürth 5-2), I spent most of the day obsessing over my social predicament and I had to re-record the first half of Freiburg’s game but other than that it was fine. I did get some sleep last night, I resisted the temptation to stay up and watch the highlights which most likely would have resulted in me not bothering to go to bed at all. As things worked out I was awake and out of bed before 9:00am to see the first half of the repeat of Freiburg’s game. A small step but progress at least. I’ll overlook the fact that I didn’t get dressed until well after lunchtime, partly in the spirit of focusing on the positives and not needlessly beating myself up for things and partly because I know the reason for it. It was mostly because getting dressed would entail changing out of my new Manuel Neuer shirt and I just didn’t want to be parted from it. Not until I really had to.

It may be a small step but it’s an important one. This week has to go perfect, there’s enough things that can go wrong without me tempting fate in any other ways. The schedule from now to Friday is completely non-negotiable. There’s no space for distractions or mistakes.

I can say one thing for sure, my Monday is going better than Markus Gisdol’s is, he just got sacked by Hoffenheim. Just yesterday I was placing bets on who the first manager to be sacked would be. On my short list was Frontzcek (H96), Zorniger (VfB), Weinzierl (FCA) and Gisdol from Hoffenheim. Gisdol is going to be replaced by Huub Stevens who last season helped VfB avoid getting relegated.

On the subject of small steps I made some more progress in dealing with my latest social error. I managed to talk about it with someone in real life, they know what’s going on now but I haven’t yet asked them to do what I may need them to. That is to check my e-mails before I do. I can’t figure out which is best, for me to ask them to do it, or for me to bite the bullet so to speak and do it myself. Both seem equally difficult.

I fear I may have found another potential error in the decision I made, I’m not sure I explained myself enough. I know I have a tendency to do that, to not make it clear what I’m saying. I guess sometimes I forget that people don’t know every single thing I’m thinking, I know it logically but it doesn’t stop me forgetting. Especially when I’m wrapped up in obsessing over something. Which is another reason not to allow such things to happen, I’m even worse than usual at making sense of such things. Sometimes I think I should never be allowed to talk to anyone ever. All I seem to do is get it wrong.

Part of me thinks I should just take care of it right now, that I should get it over with. The theory being that if I deal with it now, it won’t ruin Tuesday and Wednesday night. But if I check my e-mails and find out I did screw up then that’s going to happen anyway. I think I’m putting way too much thought into this. I feel like an idiot in the sense that this is taking me all weekend to make sense of and yet to the person I potentially offended, they probably won’t even have given the matter any thought, or at least they won’t have spent anything close to the amount of time I have thinking about it.

It’s hard to work out what I’m more worked up about, this or how nervously excited I am for the games Tuesday and Wednesday night. Freiburg’s game is obviously of utmost importance, they’re playing Augsburg who are currently at the bottom of the Bundesliga after losing to Dortmund yesterday. But I can take no encouragement from that, league form counts for nothing when it comes to the Pokal. Tuesday’s big game Wolfsburg v Bayern is the one I’m really excited about and not just because I’m hoping I get a Jogi video from it. I’m excited because it’s the latest chapter in a very interesting story.

Last season Bayern beat Wolfsburg 2-1 on MD1, they then lost 4-1 to them in the reverse of the fixture. This season they lost on penalties to Wolfsburg in the Super Cup Final but more than got revenge for that when they beat them 5-1 in their first league encounter. I’d predict a Bayern win but who knows, one has to take into account the “magic of the Pokal.” I know there’s no real magic here, just two giants slugging it out. That phrase is usually used to refer to the potential of a smaller team beating a giant like Bayern, but I think this clash is suitably special for it to be used here. As much as I want to see Bayern’s game, and on the right channel (I’m not making that mistake again) what I really want to see is the repeat of Reutlingen’s first round clash with KSC. It’s being repeated tomorrow morning, I missed it the first time round so I’m really hoping I get to see it this time. Random numbers tangent, this is post number 743. Each of those numbers is special by itself to me, but especially so when added together because it adds up to 14. 2014 of course being important because of last summer. If I had been aware of it before writing this post I would have picked something a little less depressing and something considerably more Jogi themed.

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