What grows in the Darkness belongs to the Darkness


Tell us about times in which you linger — when you don’t want an event, or a day to end. What is it you love about these times? Why do you wish you could linger forever?

The line in the title is one of Mandrake’s (voiced by Christoph Waltz) lines in the film Epic. I like that film very much, enough to go and see it at the cinema at least six times, several of those in 3D even though it gives me a headache.  I picked that line because it’s the cinema that is one of the places that I like to linger at. When you’re watching a really good film or even just an average film that has someone you like a great deal in it and you never want it to end. The cinema is perfect, the big screen, popcorn, the dark and no-one expects you to talk. It’s the only place I’m fully immersed in something and thus have no opportunity to think about football. Well not much anyway, sometimes it’s really not my fault. Like for example when I went to see In Order of Disappearance and there was a Serbian character called Miroslav. At the time I was bidding on a coin of Miroslav Klose and I had just bought a Serbian sticker of Jogi Löw. To make it worse Bruno Ganz played Miroslav’s father, the connection there being the Hitler Parody videos of which there are several world cup related ones.

I say that no-one expects you to talk, that’s not strictly true. In the past other people were constantly reminding me not to talk at the cinema, not to tell them every little reference I thought I’d spotted right there and then. Fair enough, they didn’t want me disturbing other people, I get that now. So why then do they do the same thing, except instead of reference spotting they want to tell me how cute Matthias or Daniel looks. How is that not the same thing? You can’t teach me the social rules of a particular space and then disregard them yourself. I like knowing that I’m not expected to talk there, it’s the only place I can be around other people and feel something close to being comfortable around them. For one thing because it’s dark, they can’t see you being “weird,” if they can’t see your tics and stims then they can’t comment on them or stare at you. I think that part may have turned into more of a rant than I intended.

But none of that is the real reason I like to linger at the cinema, the real reason is a very nerdy one, I like to stay and watch the end credits, not just because I like to listen to the music or because there’s usually an actor’s name I want to look out for, no I like to count Germans, Austrians and Danes and any other nationality I happen to be partial to at that moment. It must be a fun thing to do because I’ve gotten NTs in on the act sometimes. Though their enthusiasm does not extend to partaking in such activities more than once, that is if it’s a film that I’ve already seen and I’m seeing it for the second (or fifth) time, they expect me to leave without doing this, no chance of that. Then it’s all the more fun for me because I know what is coming and that just makes it even better.

Another time I like to linger is when you come to the end of a really good book, when I get to the last few pages I try and usually fail to read slower. I don’t want to let go of it, not just yet, you can’t bear the thought of not seeing the characters anymore. I know you can re-read it, but it’s the not the same, it’s never the same as the first time. Sometimes knowing what’s coming makes something better and sometimes it completely ruins it.

I do have a football and a Jogi and Hansi related answer too. Not like I’d leave them out.  When you’ve had a really good dream, one you just don’t want to wake up from. No matter who it was that was there,  whether it be Jogi, Hansi, Roman (Bürki or Weidenfeller) or Manuel. You try to stay asleep as long as possible, to put off getting up, so you can bask in the feelings that the dream created just a little longer, so you can hold on to the memory of their presence for just a few seconds more.

And now moving from the darkness to the light, part of me wishes I could stay in the summer forever, more specifically last summer. I know if that were to occur it would mean Germany would never win their fourth world cup, but on the flip side it would mean Hansi would never leave.

I also wish the football season would not come to an end as it does this weekend, I wish it could go on forever, not because it’s been  great season for us, it really hasn’t. Though there is a silver lining in the presence of Roman Bürki, he’s certainly proved himself, now no-one cares about the guy he replaced, Oliver, Oliver who? He’s just a distant memory now, as he should be, Roman has been one of the best keepers in the league this season.

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