When you make a connection, you lose all control

Even when that connection is an illusion, when you don’t really have a connection to anything or anyone, either way the losing control part is still true. The title is a line from the trailer of Blackhat, a film I have no interest in seeing but I like that line. Change the word connection to obsession and you have the perfect line for me.

Each obsession it’s the same, I spend absurd amounts of money buying things that I don’t really need, things that a few months from now I may not even care about. That doesn’t stop me from wanting them. The reason I chose that quote as the title is because I’ve found another item for my collection, a really terrific one, problem is I’m 95% certain that I can’t have it.

I need to teach myself some self control, I can’t allow myself to give in to every whim and to every crazy scheme. If I don’t, I’ll never be able to save any money and it will make living by myself much more difficult if not impossible.

So now I’m of course despairing over the fact that I can’t have it. There is a silver lining, not much of one, certainly not enough to console me anyhow, I did find out something about Hansi Flick that I wouldn’t otherwise have found out. If I didn’t know before I certainly know now, I am well and truly obsessed.

I wonder if the rest of the week had gone better, would I not be so bothered by this? One thing I know for sure, it certainly ruled over today’s events in that it was all I could think about. It may have contributed to how distracted I was in regards to socialising as well. Both talking and listening were difficult, I kept repeating myself and I spent twenty minutes talking about football boots, to someone who hates football. I know I bored them senseless and yet I really don’t care, I don’t have any energy left to care about that or their feelings in general. I know that makes me a jerk but right now all I care about is my potential new mission, my latest crazy idea.

Plus I’m kind of mad at the person in question, I think maybe if I were less tired then I would not be so angry with them but I can’t get past the fact that they wouldn’t tell me the truth. I know one of the reasons I’m angry with them, I’m less clear as to what the others are. I suspect they could be summed up in one simple phrase, “you’re not alternate Hansi Flick.”

Hansi was not the only German on my mind today, Jürgen Klinsmann was too because the film we saw was Kingsman, I kept saying it to myself repeatedly, saying Klinsmann instead of the actual title. As it turns out that little bit of wordplay with the title was one of the few things I liked about the film. The other things I liked about it was the fact that the score reminded me of the score from CA:TWS, the cheeseburger joke and the name of the production company: TSG Entertainment. That’s amusing to me because those three letters are part of Hoffenheim’s full name, TSG 1899 Hoffenheim, a fact made even better by the fact that before I went to bed last night (well this morning really) I wrote a post called “A Message from Hansi and the Hoffenheimers.”

Something I’ve been thinking about since I got back from the cinema is the question of my about page on here and how little I’ve written there. I’ve been giving the subject some thought because of a comment someone left about a post leaving them with more questions than answers and that my about page didn’t tell them very much either, that it doesn’t even say where I live. That got me thinking, what should the page say, what is important to tell people who read my blog and is it important to put on there what country I live in?

At least on a stats front I can be happy today, top of the list of views by country is Germany with 14.  Plus someone found this by searching using the phrase “löw v argentine.” I’m happy that someone found this by spelling his last name right. Also the unknown search terms tally stands at 22, 2+2 = 4, perfect.

I’m a little bit more conflicted about the other numbers related topic tonight, that of Dortmund beating Mainz 4-2. I should be pleased in one way, I called it 2-1 so I still get 30 points on the Bundesliga game, but it’s not so good for Freiburg obviously, it’s puts even more pressure on them in regards to Sunday’s game. Dortmund were able to recover from that freak goal one minute in, something that I have to admit even though I like Roman Weidenfeller, was pretty funny to see. I can feel less bad about finding it funny given that Dortmund ended up winning the game.

One response to “When you make a connection, you lose all control

  1. Hi Yogi, it was the comment ‘leaving more questions than answers’ that spurred me on to find out more about you. I showed my husband your photo next to your WP address and asked him if that was the coach from the World Cup Champions. He said it looked like you but he had never heard you referred to as Yogi. Now that I know who you are let me congratulate you on a fantastic World Cup victory. Germany was my number one choice from the beginning. I’m enjoying reading your blog and must commend you on your openness about autism. A fan from Canada. Carol

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